Diva Living Today

Why do women feel guilty if they take some time out of their own life for themselves?  Mothers and wives often make the decision that their families come first and we put ourselves on the back burner.  Problem is, we never cook on the back burner, so our needs go unmet way too often.   I think we must first admit to ourselves, that like every other human being on the planet (our significant other and children included) we should be equally placed on the “you come first” list.  Yes, when our children are very young they need us so much more, but we can share the responsibility of their care with others.  The truth is, that is very healthy for us as well as the children. 

Do we really think the world will end if we left the children home with dad and spend an hour with a friend?  Sometimes we just need a few minutes to have some private time with our own thoughts and we should allow ourselves that time.  I’m not saying that it won’t take some planning, having a conversation with your husband about your needs, and cautiously choosing sitters or temporary caregivers, but it can be done.  It absolutely should be done.  When we take care of ourselves, we are so much better in our caregiver role. 

I was travelling somewhere and recall the stewardess was going over safety measures on the plane.  She said if we lose oxygen, put the mask on yourself first.  Then put it on your children.  She was certainly speaking to every adult on the plane, but especially mothers.  It’s instinctual for us to protect our children.  However, our young children could not help us or themselves if we pass out after putting the mask on them.  That is why we have to put it on first.  The same applies true for regular life.  If we don’t take care of ourselves, we won’t be the best mother or wife we can be.  Too many women are going through life like the woman in the movie, “Coming to America” who said, “Whatever you like, I like” or a happy Stepford wife.  It seems so very normal, until we get a minute to reflect on our lives usually after a crisis.  You deserve to be a happy, healthy participant in your own life and not just a worker bee.  We must love ourselves just as much as we love our families.  Everything in life is about rotation.  There is a time for everything, including you.  Don’t get lost in the sauce, every ingredient is equally important in a great tasting meal.

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