Don't You Want to Live a Better Life?

The New Year is coming and diva’s will be making new life plans and preparing to be their best selves this year.  There are “those folks” we feel that making a New Year’s resolutions is a waste of time, everybody makes them and nobody keeps them.  Oh, but they could never be more wrong.  Diva’s do.  Just like life, everything you planned may not necessarily happen, but if you don’t at least make an effort you can consider yourself going nowhere slowly. Don’t be that person at the starting line who decided not to run the race, because they think they are going to lose.

Divas know that if you planned five life improvements and you only accomplished three in that year, you’re further than you were before the year started.  Don’t you want to live a better life?  You do?  Great then don’t listen to “those folks”.  The beginning of the year is always a good time to reflect on the past year and plan improvements.  Some people do it on their birthday or over summer break.  It doesn’t really matter when you do it, what matters is that you do your life work regularly.

For “those folks” who decided nothing will change.  You put the words out there, you will find it to be accurate.  You might want to be careful what you let the universe hear you say.  For everyone else, let’s get movin’, there is no time like the present.  Time waits for no man.  We have a wonderful life to plan – let’s go. Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! 

My family and I had such a wonderful Thanksgiving.  We engaged in conversation, listened to music and had a wonderful dinner.  After dinner we decided to play a game my son in law brought over.  We had a lot of fun playing together, we are an amazing team, and as the game was about working together, we of course knocked it out.  One thing I must say about my family, we are great communicators.  We talked through the game and as it required coordination and teamwork, we bam…scored.

My other lovie, my daughter overseas called in, and we had the most amazing time catching up and talking about where all of us were in our lives.  After our “what’s app” conversation, I decided to bring out desert.  Since my daughter and brother are Vegans, I didn’t have a sweet desert plan.  So when all else fails, I brought out a fruit salad I whipped up.  I included tangerines, apples, pineapples, mangos almond slices and dried cranberries to sweeten it all up and give it an added kick.

But then there was the surprise.  Since my daughter like trying new foods, I purchased a persimmon for her to try.  She cut it up and gave each of our guests a piece.  I was in the kitchen getting a slice of apple pie of course.  After all, its thanksgiving and what says thanksgiving more than apple pie?  Okay, after the turkey, it’s apple pie.

When I came out of the kitchen with my smoking hot, slice of apple pie and a bottle of water, I noticed everyone had a weird look on their face.  They looked like if they ate poison.  So I asked what happened and this was the response.  “It’s sweet but then it tastes like fur, no – it does something to your tongue, it dries out your mouth.”  The more they ate, the more comments were made, “Wait a minute, this taste like deodorant.  My daughter said, try it mom, I thought, are you kidding me.  I tasted deodorant before.  What happened was I put some on after a shower and noticed I had a piece of lint from the towel on my lip so I went to remove it and bam, the taste of deodorant was on my tongue.  That waxy  miserable taste flashed back in my head.  Oh no.  I wasn’t about to try the persimmon – not today, not ever.  Then my brother said, “I know what it taste like, it tastes like a tire patch.”  I was laughing before, but at this point, I couldn’t stop.”

This is what happens when my family gets together, the foolishness that comes out of everyone’s mouth is unbelievable.  This is my family all day, every day.  It wasn’t about the fruit.  If I never purchased that piece of fruit, we would be laughing about something else.  Our old family stories can’t ever be repeated without someone begging us to stop.  How can you laugh until your throat, stomach and even back hurt.  I’ll tell you how?  Come over for our holiday dinner. 

This year and every year before and after, I’m most thankful for my family – they give life meaning, purpose and add such joy.  Lift your glasses, a toast to family diva.

I started a tradition a few years ago of buying myself a gift at Christmas time.  I wanted to share why I started this practice with all of you.  Well diva, every year at Christmas time we purchase gifts for our friends and love ones.  Why?  Because we want them to know that we love them and we are thinking of them during this wonderful holiday season.  It’s our hope that our small token of love will bring them joy and happiness.

I purchase a gift for myself each Christmas for the same reason.  It’s a, "Hey diva, I appreciate you and all that you do" gift.  Of course you can buy yourself anything you want at any time.  But if you are like me, you’re counting those pennies, so that won’t happen very often.  But around the holidays, it’s a wonderful time to treat yourself.  You’re already in the store shopping for all the fav people on your list, just add yourself to that list diva and keep it movin’.

We have no difficulty showing others that we love them, so we shouldn’t have any difficulty with the concept of self-love.  As we enter this holiday season, I want to wish everyone happy holiday.  Live Life on Purpose Ladies, smooches.

Why is it that people are so sneaky and dishonest?  Am I just an idiot magnet?  No matter what type of business I’m looking for a professional to assist with, I often get that one person you can’t trust to save your life.  I do my due diligence, check references etc. Who wrote their references, their sister?  I had the real estate agent from hell, the doctor from Elm Street, met Jason when trying to get my car serviced.  I often wonder is there anybody out there that care enough about anything to do it right.  And, can I not be taken to the cleaners so you can make 200% profit.

I miss the days when your word and a handshake was all that was needed.  If you hired a professional they had such pride in their work and reputation that you benefited with an excellent job as a side result.  Is it just me or have you noticed that business is now about, “how much of your money can I take for nothing”.  All I’m asking is that professionals act like professionals and have a code of ethic, do the job I’m paying them to do well and at a reasonable price.  Really diva, is that too much to ask of people?  Can everyone not have the car salesman mentality? 

I guess until we revisit the golden days, I’ll just have to review every deal microscopically.  It’s annoying but it’s a must.  We can all benefit from every service deal if we remember that honesty is still the best policy and karma, well – let’s just say – she’s less than a friend.

Make your house a home.   It doesn’t matter whether you live in a studio or a six bedroom house, it’s so important to make your house a home.  People don’t always put a lot a thought into how they want to use the space and what really would make them happy.  What makes you happy and how you interpret that in your space is what changes the game diva. 

It all begins with the bones.  Layout, open concept or not?  Is it painted nicely with the colors that you like?   Does it have plenty of natural lighting?  Does the space just need a little love and personal touches or is it going to be a start from scratch situation.  Whatever the case, make it yours.

Who cares if you own the property or if you are renting it.  It doesn’t matter.  What matters is that you are very happy in the space.  You know, the kind of happy that makes you can’t wait to get home.  Put your stamp on it.  Love it, create environments that you want to live in.  After all, if you worked hard every day, don’t you deserve to come home to a place where you can rejuvenate?  Sure you do, make it happen.  All it takes is Pinterest and a plan.  Let the fabulousity begin.

So many people are struggling with being true to themselves or anyone else for that matter.  What they are doing and what they are saying do not line up.  For example, if you say you are focusing on saving, but you are shopping every day, there is a disparity.  Or you say that you are vegan, but you’re eating big Macs from McDonalds, I don’t get.  Whoever you are and whatever you do, it’s best to own it. 

It simply makes so much more sense to be who you say you are.  I don’t understand the need to live on Fantasy Island.  Can I keep it real divas?  I tend to prefer to deal with people who are real.  People who are honest with themselves and speak the truth about their direction.  I’m not asking for any information, but if you are going to give it to me, I prefer it not be misinformation.

Don’t get me wrong, I am all for trying to do better, but if you are not there yet, it’s better to be honest about it. Matter of fact, why speak on it at all.  If we can’t be honest with ourselves, who can we be honest with.  Life is less confusing when we do what we say and say what we mean.  Let’s keep it real.

If I had a penny for every time I heard someone say there aren’t any good men left, I would be a millionaire.  This isn’t about male bashing, although a few of them could use a bash or two.  There are men that act a whole fool – let’s be real.  I realize they are not alone, it’s not like woman hasn’t done the unthinkable in relationships, some have.  But let’s get back to the men shall we.

There are families that took the time to raise their children well, instilling in them a code of ethics and values.  These mothers and fathers made it clear, the world does not revolve around them.  Then you have the mother we acts like her son is “little baby Jesus” who could do no wrong.  Well, in most cases, this kid will grow up thinking he is a gift to women, a gift they must share.  There are woman who do everything for their sons.  They know their son have at least five girlfriends and brush it off saying “oh their young”, he’ll settle down.  And this diva, is partly to blame for the grown boys you may have met today.  You see, I’m of the opinion that age does not necessarily make you a man.

We teach our sons that their need is a priority and our daughters that their significant other comes first, we too perpetuate the problem.  I don’t have a son, but if I did, he would learn how to cook, clean and take care of himself being a proper partner to his significant other and family.  He would also learn that selfishness is not okay.  Date one girl at a time Fabio.  What you practice is what comes natural to you.  A marriage license is a piece of paper and if a man has been in the habit of juggling a number of female relationships for years, that is what he will do.  The paper does not have magical powers that will stop him.  It’s all about respect and commitment and it’s something that should be practiced from day one.

So the next time you think to say there are no good single guys left, be sure you’re not part of the problem.  Your son will be someone’s boyfriend and then husband one day.  And what you instill in him today will make the difference in the future.  Remember, no matter how much we love our children, wrong is still wrong and right is still right and carmer well, it can be a tough teacher.  Encourage your son’s to put out in the world what they would want to come back to him.  Because in some shape or form it certainly will.  

Have you ever thought about making one relaxing spot in your home?  What about a themed room.  It’s absolutely delicious.  I just completed what I happily named “my beach room”.  It’s perfect.  I love the beach and it’s my relaxing go to spot.   But unfortunately, there’s no going to the beach in the middle of the winter.  So, I took the beach home.  I decorated my beach room with seashells and sand, a collection of rocks and pebbles.  I have the most amazing picture of a turtle on my wall.  A fabulous boat I decorated especially for the occasion.  Everything about the space, including my collection of twigs and sea glass makes me feel so at home, I don’t know why I didn’t think of doing this before.  It’s the most relaxing place in my home and I spend so much time there. 

There is nothing like a diva sanctuary and every diva must have one.  Think about what that may look like for you and begin your “project relaxation” girl.  It could be a corner of a room or an entire room.  Take your time and make it a space worth living in.  Enjoy the journey.

Follow your dreams.  It’s so easy sometimes to put what you really want to do on the back burner.  Either because life happens or the expense of it all.  Just because you may have to pursue a job that pays the bills for now, doesn’t mean you can’t pursue what your heart desires.

You can:

Do some research online regarding the career path or business.

Go to a seminar, take a class or pursue a degree.

Speak to people doing what you want to do.

Buy a book or two on the subject.

Start to dabble a little bit on the side. 

Say for example you would like to start a bed & breakfast, stay overnight and take good notes.  You’ll observe some good things and certainly some not so good things to avoid.  Get information on what it would cost to run a bed & breakfast.  How many rooms would you like to have?  Organize the information you obtain as you pursue your goal.  Before you know it, you will be saving towards your goal and devising a plan to accomplish it. 

Whatever it is that your heart desires, don’t ever let it go.  Whatever makes you happy is worth doing.  I’m not saying quit your job and follow your dreams.  That would be a personal choice.  I wouldn’t suggest quitting your job because I wouldn’t personally do it myself.  Bills must get paid and we have to be responsible.  I am saying though that you can do something on the side that will lead you closer to the goal.

There are no do overs in life so don’t waste a moment.  This is as good a time as any to follow your dreams and make it happen.  Good luck on your life journey…

What is girl power?  Well, I think it’s the amazing ability to get things done.  You know rolling up your sleeves, jumping in there and making it happen.  To some it represents a sense of sisterhood – kinda’ we can do it together.  Either way, it represents the power that women around the world have as they take care of themselves and their families every day.  I would like to challenge women everywhere to take that ability to make things happen and do what you can to help the many families around the world who are suffering as a result of the numerous hurricanes that has been happening lately. 

I believe there were six hurricanes and I understand we have many more to come.  It’s been one behind each other with no time for us to recover.  Too many people have died.  It’s left countless families homeless and destitute.  So plan now to shop less this holiday season and let’s help people who have been devastated by the storms to get what they need to survive.  From Atlanta to Peru, people can use our help.  United Way and the Red Cross are good organizations to contact.  It’s time to use your girl power diva – let’s go.

There is no doubt in my mind that we are living in trying times.  When the bottom fell out of the housing market a few years ago, most people thought it couldn’t get any worse than that, oh but it has.  The economy is tinkering and racism is at an all-time high.  So, when there are economic issues facing the country and then hatred is a staple, it fosters a climate for disaster.  Some are concerned about a civil war that may cause the deaths of many Americans of all nationalities.  A bullet doesn’t discriminate.  Hopefully cool heads will prevail on both sides of this issue.

It is share stupidity to waste even a moment fighting amongst ourselves because of the color of our skin.  There are real problems that need to be addressed in our society and this is the worst case distraction.  Distractions is what takes place when they let the fox in the hen house.  So what’s a diva to do?

Well, for starters Divas must keep living the best life possible.  Time waits for no man.  So, don’t waste your time.  When you wake up each morning, thank God for another day.  Have your best day.  Do your best work.  Live your best life.  Don’t waste not a minute of your time absorbing the chaos caused by others.  Do what you need to do to stay healthy and strong.  Protect your happiness at all cost.  Don’t let anyone rob you of your joy and peace.  But next time, do yourself a favor.  Lock the hen house door and protect it with pit bulls. 

And yeah, if you feel like it, invest in real estate – people have to live somewhere and there will always be money to be made in this sector.  However, we can never afford to believe the hype again.  If it looks too good to be true, believe it is.  Every market has a realistic limit.  Know what it is and stay within it.

One of my graduate school professors asked the question, “Are leaders born or made?   As you could imagine, there was much discussion on the subject.  Some people felt they were made.  A person can be trained to be a leader.  While others felt that it certainly is something you are born with a gift of sorts.  There was a third group that believed, it’s both.  Leaders are born and made to lead effectively.  I happen to agree with the latter.

Leaders, true effective leaders have certain qualities that are gifts.  Their charismatic and focused.  They are driven and can effectively pull a team together to accomplish the required mission.  Leaders are wise and have the ability to make sound decisions in a timely manner.  They know when to coach, when to be part of the team and when to provide directive.  They understand that there is usually more than one way to solve a problem and they are open to examining the possibilities.   A born leader can perfect his or her leadership abilities through training and experience.  Sharpening the tools, I like say.  The point is, you have to own tools to sharpen them.

There are so called leaders who have been trained to lead.   They have the book knowledge but no real ability to apply it.   Someone has leant them the tools, but they don’t have the innate ability to appropriately use them.

Then there are those who are neither born to lead nor trained to do so.  These guys, don’t know what they don’t know because they think they know everything.  It looks easy, so they are prepared to plow through without even as much as a road map.  Just know when there is a mission that needs to be accomplished, ignorance is not bliss.  It has led many companies to bankruptcy.  Everybody has a lane.  Everybody has a purpose.  Stay in your lane and know your purpose.  We can’t all be doctor’s, we definitely can’t all be leaders.  But whatever we are called to do, training will certainly help.  Divas know they will do the world a service if they find their purpose, train and then diligently implement to perfection.  The only thing worse than a leader that can’t lead is a worker who won’t work. 

I feel so privileged to have lived through another birthday.  Nothing but the absolute mercy of God.    

Have you ever moved?  If you have, you know that it is not an easy feat.  I recently moved after living in the same house for over 15 years.  To reduce the chance of losing my mind during this arduous process, I did some research on organized packing and moving.  I implemented my plan effectively and efficiently.  I moved an entire house and only a light bulb broke during the move.  Now let me just say, you can’t control everything, some things about a move or anything else, happens well outside your control.  But planning and proper preparation is always the best way to go.  So just in case, you are contemplating a move, I’d like to share with you some surefire tips to make your packing, moving and unpacking easier.

Like most people, I had a few concerns: theft, broken or damaged items, including furniture.  I also wanted to ensure that I didn’t have to drag boxes from room to room afterwards.  I didn’t want to spend a trillion dollars on boxes and other moving essentials.

1.     Start going through your things one year in advance.  Sought:  keep, throw away or goodwill items.  It’s make no sense to pay to move things you are going to throw away later.

2.     Create an inventory months in advance.  Take pics of your valuables with your phone.  You’ll need it to ensure your items with the moving company. 

3.     Collect free boxes. Have friends and family hold boxes for you from shopping on Amazon or other mail order purchases.  You could also check the supermarket and large stores like Walmart.  If you work at a school grab those Staples boxes and other boxes from purchases. I started collecting a year in advance I placed the boxes in large black garbage bags for long term storage.

4.     Purchase colorful packing tape.  Use regular masking tape to close your packed boxes.  Color code your boxes by room. Place one strip of colored tape vertically across the top of the box.  Don’t label the boxes, no one needs to know what is in them but you.  Keep a key to your color coded boxes (i.e. Orange – kitchen, red – living room, blue – office etc.)  It’s easy for someone to open and re-tape a box when you are not looking.  That’s impossible when you have a variety of colored tape not stocked in the truck.  Lock your colorful tapes in your car.

5.     Number your boxes.  If one is missing, you will know within a day.  What I did is this:  Orange is kitchen so the orange list started with 100.  First box 100, second box 101, third box 102.  The living room was blue.  The first living room box was 200, second box 201, third box 202 etc.  I also listed in my log some of the main items in the box so I can find them easily when needed.  Let’s face it, I can’t unpack a house in a day, but I need my toaster right away.  Store most of your boxes in your living room for easy and quick moving.  Time is money. When it is time to unpack have a family member stand by the door with a prepared key.  As the movers come in they can call out their number or color and be directed to the proper room.  You won’t have to lift a thing to unpack.  Boxes will be placed exactly where the contents will be housed.

6.     Pack your plates with Styrofoam plates.  Between each plate, place a Styrofoam plate for cushion.  Cheapest method ever and it’s the best padding.

7.     Collect free bubble wrap.  You will need to wrap your glasses and other breakable items.  Have your buddies save the packing including the packing paper from TJ Maxx, Amazon and other stores.  If you have to buy any, buy it at Walmart, it is the cheapest I’ve found, or simply shop around in advance.

8.     Have a furniture layout plan.  If you plan in advance, you won’t have to waste the mover’s time figuring it out.  Their time is your money.  You won’t have to be dragging furniture around afterwards.  For a few tweaks, buy sliders and give your back a break.

9.     Purchase glass packing dividers.  If you like glassware like I do, this is the only way to go.  You can find them at home depot, but if you plan in advance, you may be able to find them cheaper by shopping around.

10.  Purchase furniture blankets.  Movers will never have enough – I don’t want to see a scratch – I know – a little anal but that’s fine.  Purchase them on Amazon, you’ll save a bundle.  Sharpie your initials on yours so they don’t get mixed up with the mover’s blankets also number them so you get them all back.  You can easily store them away in a bin in the basement or resell them.

11.  Have bottled cold water for your movers.  They can get more done if they are not dying of thirst.

12.  Purchase plastic totes/bins.  They are good for protecting china and other breakables.  Take a drill and drill holes on each side so that you can zip tie the cover to the bin.

13.  Pack a suitcase.  You’ll need pj’s, toothbrush, paste, deodorant, undies, at least three change of clothing etc.  You’ll be too tired to dig in boxes. 

14.  Pack a food box.  My sister gave me this idea.  What good is cream cheese, if you can’t find your bagels?

15.  Pack an open first box.  This box #1 should have your cleaning items, bucket, sponges, soap, disinfectants etc.  Put boxes 13 – 15 in your car.

16.  Zip tie your hanging clothes in the closet.  Then use Hefty garbage bags like clothes bags put two or three sets of zip ties clothes in each bag. Move the bags from one closet directly to the other.  All you will have to do is untie the bags, cut the zip ties and wa-la.  You can reuse the bags for trash later on and avoid the folding an unfolding.

Last but not least, remember to pack big boxes with light items like clothes and pack small boxes with heavier items like books etc.  If the box can’t be safely carried, items will get broken, including the movers back.  Once you are in your new home, smile – home at last.  Now diva, the new journey begins.

You are too short.  You’re too tall.  Your hair is too curly.  You hair is much too straight.  Is that your natural hair color?  Is that your real hair?  Your nose is too big.  Did you have a nose job?  Is that really your eye color?  Your lips are really big.  You don’t have any lips.  You are really fat.  You are way too thin.  You are really black.  Boy, you are really white.  I have a question, why do people ask these questions?  Are they really stupid?  Do we not recall that curiosity killed the cat?  Okay so that wasn’t a real story but come on…

You have to know me pretty well to ask me any of these questions.  And some of these questions, if you know me pretty well, you know not to ask.  The thing to understand is, if the person wants to tell you, you wouldn’t have to ask.  Unless they make their business yours – oh it’s not.  Surely there are more important things on your, “must know list” than the above.  Let try, “How are you today?” The other thing is that judgmental stuff, too this, or too that – girl bye.  There are just way too many people who think they are the beauty police.  Having seen them, I’m not sure why they are so misguided.  Who decides if you’re too short or too tall?  Whose job is it to determine if you are too black or too white?  Who decides if your lips are too big or way to small – who decides?  Certainly not the person making the statement or anyone like them.  Who gets to decide - you do.  And don’t let anyone perpetrate their hate on you.  If they have self-esteem, issues they need to fix it.  Putting you down cannot be the solution to making people feel better about themselves.  And…then there are the haters, you know – those that buy everything that they (pretenda’) hate about you. 

What is the point of this line of questioning, who really cares and why?  What is the motivation for asking these types of questions? Some may say, well they just want to know?  Well, it’s none of their business unless the other person decide it is.  At the end of the day, it’s all up to you how you handle the probe of life or the “too” statement.  When it comes to matters about you, you are the expert.  Take a look in the mirror and know that you were perfectly made.  You have to live with you every day.  You must know the value of you.  Diva don’t let anyone else paint your picture.  Pick up your paint brush and just know that you are making a one of a kind original.  You don’t have to be or look like anyone but you.  You also don’t have to answer probing questions about yourself or anything else for that matter.  If they don’t like the painting, they can move on and choose another.  Boop!

Just remember the people that matters, none of this stuff matters to them.  And if it matters to them, then they shouldn’t matter to you.  It’s far better to live your life being the best that you can be instead of worrying about what other people think about you.  Spread the love, reduce the hate, especially to yourself.

Have you ever had someone say hello to you and you pleasantly responded?  Then you walked away and instinctively looked back, just to find them making a face behind your back?  Yep, the mean girl syndrome in full effect.  What is also in effect is a coward.  Fantasia sang a song and some of the lyrics to the song are, “If you don’t like me, don’t talk to me, go ahead and free yourself”.  If only the “mean girl” would take this advice.  Life is too short to get caught up with people who don’t even know how to behave.

I simply don’t understand two faced cowards.  Have the guts to say what you have to say to the person's face or simply free yourself of their company.  I truly don’t understand what people get out of catching someone else’s eye behind your back and making a negative gesture about you.  Does it make them smarter, taller, cuter, gets them a raise?  What did you say, none of the above – ding, ding, ding.  That is the correct answer, the person who this gets nothing tangible out of it – unless, they have low self-esteem.  Then of course it makes sense that behaving this way, somehow makes them feel better about themselves (bigger).  Unfortunately, this truth takes place only in their minds.  This reminds me of an incident that I witnessed in high school.  In the 11^th grade, there was a girl with long absolutely beautiful hair.  She was such a nice and friendly girl. That seemed to be a problem for, “the mean girl”.  So she would pull the girls' hair, knock her school books out of her hand for months.  But one day the girl with the long hair had her hair in a bun, no earrings on but certainly sneakers.  And this day, as soon as  “the mean girl” stepped in her direction she was met with, let’s just say mush hostility.  Although I don’t condone violence, I guess old girl had enough of the nonsense.  It’s amazing to me just how many “mean girls” grow up and never correct their misbehavior.  Too many of them grow up to be “mean women”.  Girl, “get your life”.  There are therapists and psychologists on every corner.  Get the help you need and leave everyone else alone.  I for one being the Diva that I am, will not be making eye contact with the person who behaves poorly behind someone else’s back.  Divas don’t condone inappropriate behavior, we certainly won’t be a part of it.

The truth of the matter is, we don’t have to like everybody and if it pains you to say hello - don’t.  But do grow up.  This isn’t high school.  No one’s afraid of the “mean girl” anymore honey.  And divas, well they see your pain and hope you get the help you need.  But just know, if you try this stunt with a diva, there is a strong chance that she will call you on it.  Yep, be prepared to be confronted.

Vacation is calling and I must go.  Where, you ask?  It doesn't really matter where.  When time off rolls around, it will be a wonderful experience based on my vaca needs.  Sometimes it could be an island paradise, sometimes Virginia Beach, other times a local hotel or even at home. 

The only thing that matters when I go on vaca, is that I get what I need and do what I want.  Actually, it’s more like don’t do anything.  I’ve been to Paris and England, the West Indies and a few local spots.  Sometimes the best vaca of all is right in my own bed – go figure.  It’s like…sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t.  Sometimes you want to be a tourist, other times you’re in beach bum mode and then there is relax on 2000.

As you plan your vaca, decide what you need and do that.  If you have to consider the wishes of other family members, then make sure you at least have one day off to do you.  Chillin’ 2000.  Divas need R&R too you know.  Luv the kids, but it’s not just about them…hello, can I get an AMEN.

So if you have been following my posts, you know I wrote an article about the fabu new look of fitbit.  Well, there is more.  So my daughter purchased one and created a few group challenges.  Everyone that she invites to this group has fitbit and can compete against each other to see who has the most steps at the end of the challenge.  You can literally see each group members step total.  This particular one is for a week.  The software comments about the race, much like texting, but you also get to add your own texts as well. 

You can cheer on a buddy or simply talk smack, which is, of course, what I like to do.  I constantly threaten to dethrone the queen (person with the highest score) or threaten to win even if it mean my feet falling off.  All in fun, of course.  The wonderful thing about this is, it forces you to be accountable for the goal you set and if you are a competitive person like I am, you will certainly….get to steppin’

There is no down side.  You’ll make a few new friends, have fun and be encouraged to run or walk you race.  So diva’s if you haven’t joined a group yet, you're missing out.  Join the fun, walk to good health.  

Sometimes work and life, in general, can leave you stressed to the core.  Regardless of how you are generally enjoying yourself, sometimes just the sheer burden of responsibilities can leave you overwhelmed and exhausted - it’s all part of life.  Every once in a while, you have to carve out a little time for yourself and simply relax.  This week was a rough week.  Deadlines in the workplace, a shortage of staff and personal deadlines makes for both a tired body and mind.

It was very necessary to use my secret stress buster.  I pulled out my weapon of mass happiness.  I filled the Jacuzzi with my favorite bubble bath, put on my fav music, and yes brought in the chocolate covered strawberries.  With my bottle of Evian water, I was good to go.  It was awesome.  Every couple of months this is my get away, but this week it was my nightly ritual for 3 days.  Well chocolate covered strawberries was just one night.  You know, a girls got to watch her waistline.  Hey, a diva’s got to do what a diva’s got to do – relax when necessary.  Deadlines will be met and I will certainly get through my crazy busy week, but I knew it would be at a cost.  So, I made sure, I paid myself first each day by relaxing the night before.

As I always say, preparation is everything.  If we don’t take care of ourselves – who will.   Be your own best friend and not your own worst enemy – always plan to take great care of you diva.

What would you like to know more about?  Have you ever thought about taking a class simply to get more knowledge in the area of your interest?  Classes that help you improve the way you conduct your personal business, should not be overlooked.  So if you need to broaden your knowledge base on a particular subject, then diva get to it.  Most colleges/universities have adult classes you can take fairly inexpensively.  There are quite a few classes you can even take online.  From photography to computer literacy, there are a variety of classes - enough for everyone.

A great class to take is financial management.  We all have some knowledge in managing our personal finances, but if you have holes in your knowledge, now is the time.  Understanding where your paycheck goes each week is important to your future financial success.  Learning how to create systems to help you organize and analyze your financial data, is the only way to go. It's all about making good decisions to help improve your ability to save for your future. But of course, there are so many other classes you can take.  You would be surprised how many people use windows and don’t know all of its features.  Make your life easier – take a class.  Remember, knowledge is power girl.

The art of compromise.   There are similarities to looking for that perfect house and your hubby to be.  Every diva have a ginormous wish list.  Of course every girl would want the house or the man of her dreams.  Four bedrooms (1 guest room, and 1 office, 1 walk in closet absolutely diva fabulous and yes, one bedroom for the bride and groom).  The hubby to be, oh you would like him to be handsome, educated, have a good job and of course eyes only for you.  But at the end of the day, every diva has to choose the house that has most of the things on her wish list or at least some of the items that were high on “the must have” section. 

There are women who feel that you shouldn’t have to settle for the not so perfect house, or not so perfect spouse.  I agree to an extent.  The million dollar home is out of my budget and Denzel Washington is already married.  What’s a girl to do?  Every major decision we make will have an effect on our life, so we must make them carefully and prayerfully.  This is not a “one size fits all” deal – not by any means.  But it is and will always be a matter of compromise.  No house or person is perfect.  Inspections and conversations are necessary.  We have to do our due diligence.  It starts with knowing ourselves and knowing what we don’t want, just as much as what we do.  What are the deal breakers?  Three bedroom may be just right for one person, while someone needs 4 bedrooms and that’s before the children come along.  There are lots of questions to ask and you need to get answers so you could make an informed decision.  Some of those answers have to come from you.

At the end of the day, we have to come to a decision – we have to make the best choice given numerous factors in our lives.  But when it is all said and done, we have to make that house a happy home and that relationship a strong marriage partnership.  So, unfortunately diva’s this time I only have questions, not answers.  But answering your questions truthfully and honestly is the best way for you to get closer to your dream home or hubby.  Understand what will make you happy and then… go for that.  But just know, comprise is always necessary.  It’s a natural part of life.

Want to get in shape?  Well, besides eating well, exercising is a very important step in the process.  A simple way to exercise is put one foot in front of the other.  Walking is the simplest form of exercise, but quite effective.  We need to get moving and we need regular reminders to do it – why?  Well, because most divas may not necessarily like exercising - there, I said it.  We have to live in our truth sisters.  Now that doesn’t mean we don’t.  We are smarter than to think that we should only do things that we love.  No, we are all aware of the fact, that divas, like everyone else, must do things that are good for us - whether we like it or not.

If you haven’t already done so, you need to buy a Fitbit.  If you haven’t, what are you waiting for, they are awesome.  It’s a wonderful step tracker, but it’s much more than that.  It also tracts your heart rate and it can track your calories, water intake, exercise and so much more.  It’s amazing.  If you have friends who have Fitbit, you can challenge each other and see just how your girlfriends are moving forward towards their exercise goals. 

What I really love about my new Fitbit (charge 2) is, you can purchase alternate bands, some of which are really bracelets, so you can still be fabulous from head to toe even when tracking and getting regular reminders to literally, “keep it moving”.  Get on Amazon, Ebay or somewhere and pick your fav tracker and buy it today.  Oh, I must show you mine. Bam…

Don’t be too busy for yourself.  In the process of bringing home the bacon and frying it up in a pan, do your life’s work.  It makes no sense to be too busy to take care of you.  In our personal life, just like in business it’s all about prioritizing and time management.  But by all means, do you.  There is nothing more important than your own well-being.  Am I saying to be selfish absolutely – at least sometimes.  We are caregivers – that’s what we do, it’s not who we are.   We are women with one life, use it wisely.  Take nothing for granted and don’t waste time.  Don’t confuse wasting time with relaxing.  We do that too, we act like if we take a break the world will fall off its axis, well it won’t.  Wasting time is spinning your wheels or doing stuff that don’t require your attention.  Resting is giving your body and soul what it needs, a minute to shut down and rejuvenate.

Take time out of your busy schedule, to do things for you.  How about that life work, your budget, a walk in the park, going back to school.  Take a minute to smell the roses.  You don’t need anybody’s permission to be happy and follow your dreams.  Give yourself permission to be the diva that you are.  When mama’s good, everybody is good and the opposite is also true.  You would be surprised how much more you can accomplish during the same period of time, when you are rested and happy.  Set some goals and begin to work on them.  Make it happen, make it happen today diva.

It may seem easier to give in to feeling weak and throwing in the towel.  What do I mean, when you feel that you lack the energy or willingness to put in the effort, you know is necessary, to take you where you need to go.  Life is a journey, if we are lucky – it’s a long one.  Doing anything for a long time can be tiring and leave us feeling weak and worn.  After all, everything takes energy and some things takes lots of it.  So what’s a girl to do, you ask?  Anything and everything necessary to keep running your race.

To different people it may mean doing different things.  I simply may need more sleep, while the next guy needs to start taking vitamin supplements, the diva down the block may need to start exercising regularly.  And your cousin well, she may need a whole new rotation of friends.  You know, people who are not just sitting around saying “woe is me”. Instead, people who are challenged, motivated and eager to find solutions to the problems and roadblocks that comes with simply being alive.  When an athlete looks at the track ahead and thinks, “I’ll never make it” – game over.  If you think you can’t, the universe will accept what you have spoken into existence as a fact.  There is power in the tongue as much as there is in your thoughts, especially since your body responds to what you accept.

And if by chance your lack of energy is directly correlated with a particular place in your journey, then change it.  If you feel that your journey is long and dreary, then let the sun in.  Remember that we are the rulers of our destiny.  With the exception of Devine intervention, we have the most to do with where we are and where we are going.  So if you don’t like where you’re headed – then change it.   We will always find the strength to do what we love to do, make sure you love it or change your destination.  And while your on your journey, don't forget to take time to spread a little love and good cheer.  It's the gift that keeps giving.

Hey France I see you.  It's nice to see there are so many diva's around the world.  Hey tell a friend and ask her to tell a friend about Diva Living Today.  Stand up sister soldier, so glad to see you on board.  These are our stats for 2017 - let's keep it going.  

If I can speak to the brothers for a minute, I’d like to give you the inside scoop on “what a girl needs”.  If you are trying to step to a diva, you have to bring your “A” game.   See, divas have worked hard all day ‘err day.  They have worked to improve themselves.  They bring to the table the best they can be both mentally, physically and financially.  They are patient and kind and will stand by your side like an eagle over her eggs.  She has big goals for her future and she can certainly get behind yours.

If you’re playing games brother, miss her.  Loose her number and forget her name.  Deny any knowledge of her existence.  Because trust and believe, that is what she will do to you.  It may sound harsh, but let me explain.  Divas are forthright and upfront.  You’ll know from day one who she is and all about her belief system.  The reason she is so honest and upfront is, she believes everybody has the right to choose.  She believes, it takes away your right to make an informed decision when she plays games and hides.  She’s an open book, and she expects the same – it’s only fair.   She lives her life honestly, her love life is no different.  So if you want to know “what a girl needs,” she needs honesty.  She needs a man that knows how to treat a woman and is about his own life.  And if you’re not there yet, that’s okay, you’ll find your Ms. Right.  This girl, however, may not be the one for you.  There are lots of women out there, she is sure you will find your soul mate.  She wishes you well.