Before you know it, it will be the end of the year.  We are pushing December in a few days and I’m sure most people are thinking about Christmas and those festivities.  Equally important is good health.  I like to start each New Year out by checking in with my doctor’s.  You and I both know that as women, we must have our annual checkup, our life depends on it.  For me, tying it into the beginning of a New Year guarantee’s two things:  1. I won’t forget to schedule them, because I schedule everything within the month of January.  2.  I can’t think of a better way to start off the New Year than to work on my health.

So if you don’t have a system or a plan for your annual checkup.  January is as good a month as any to get it done.  Here are a few things you need to think about doing:

Get a complete blood test.  It should include testing your thyroid and cholesterol / Lipid Profile.  

When the results come in, don’t accept, the response, “You’re good to go”.  Get a copy of the results from your doctor’s office and have them explain what each test is for and what the results mean.  Knowledge is power honey.  It’s important to know if your pre-anything.  You might be able to turn things around if you know before an onset and act now.  It’s smart to, at minimum, think ahead of the questions you may want to ask your doctor about your health.  Take care of you diva, no one will do it better.

Get your blood pressure and blood count checked.

 

Breast Exam & Mammogram is very necessary, especially for women of a certain age.

Pap smear

Eye Exam

Colonoscopy to detect colon cancer (every 5 years or so)

Heart Health Exam

Mole Screening that little otherwise insignificant mole may be the first sign of cancer.  It’s important to get it routinely checked to ensure it’s not malignant.

Check with your doctor for other exams that may be necessary for you based on your health and family history. Have a healthy New Year!

There was one life lesson I learned in college, when all the huge reading assignments, projects and reports were all due around the same time.  I learned that sometimes the end is not in sight, but if you don’t keep working hard, you will never reach the end successfully.  Sometimes you have to do what I call, double time it and sink your heels in girl.  It’s what divas do when quitting is not an option.  We move at the speed of sound with laser focus, why because winning is the only option.

Don’t we wish life was this perfect package, where all we have to do is open it and you know, live?  Wish Island is an overcrowded place.  So if you find yourself wishing to long...snap out of it. When it comes to life, the truth is, you will get what you put in.   Life is like college. You could work comfortably and get a “C”, you can put in the effort and get a “B” or you could decide, if I’m here, I’m knocking it out and “A” is the only option - it’s all up to you.  You can be an “A” student because you’re very smart and learning is super easy for you or you can be an “A” student, because you are willing to do whatever you have to do to master the information.  At the end of the day an A is an A, is an A.

Whatever you decide to do in life, be patient, everything don’t always work out as planned.  Be flexible, sometimes plans must change.  Be diligent, dig the stilettos in and double time it when necessary.  It’s for you, so do your best job and never quit.  Whether you can see the light at the end of the tunnel or not, doesn’t mean it’s not there.  Keep working and eventually, before you know it, it will be successfully over.  

How To Paint Your Nails / Basic Manicure Tutorial

If we are going to take the time to do our nails ourselves, we may as well do it right.  The challenge some women face is, neglecting the proper nail clean-up afterwards.  But knowing a few good tips will also make a huge difference in the look of the final product.  I think this tutorial may seem like a snoozer but if you give it a few minutes, you will pick up a lot of important tips, tricks and products that will help you apply nail polish like a pro.  Take a few minutes to watch, it's worth it.

Getting married is one of the most exciting times in any woman’s life.  Who wouldn’t want to look like a princess as she marries the man of her dreams?  It’s wonderful, when you find the right one and you’re ready to marry your very best friend.  If someone you know is getting married, there are a few things that you can do to make it easier for the bride and groom:

1.      Be cooperative.  It’s their day, be the person who doesn’t bring drama, making the wedding a stressful situation.

2.     Help where you can.  Couples need the support of their family and friends.  Ask how you can help.

3.     Order from the registry when possible.  Although I’m certain the couple will love that you thought of them and want to send them off with a good start, purchasing from the registry makes life easier.  This will help to eliminate 5 toasters, 3 blenders 3 sets of pots all without receipts.

4.     If the guest list is 150 people, please don’t bring +10.  A catered affair cost thousands of dollars and everyone has a limit and budget unless of course you’re Oprah.

Enjoy the evening and avoid the critique crowd.  The last thing you need is someone telling your sister you said this or that about her special day.  If you have nothing good to say, say nothing.  Diva, just show up and be supportive.

Hurry!!! Diva Living Today has had over 1,000 page views, 1,018 to be exact.  Okay divas, you've been doing a little reading.  Thank you so much...

I think what's so exciting, is to see how many new countries are following.  Just luv it, diva's around the world are reading Diva Living Today - I'm lovin' it.  Whenever we pass a milestone, I like to share the stats, so here is a partial list.  I can't wait to write my new blogs.  See you on the page...

HOW TO LOOK EXPENSIVE & CLASSY WHEN YOU ARE BROKE!

Okay, so I don't necessarily agree with everything, especially the title, "How to look expensive and classy when you are broke.”  In my opinion, a more appropriate title would be, Dressing Classy on a Budget. I would prefer that the person work on themselves, complete their education and not suffer through being broke. 

Diva's and the word broke can't be used in the same sentence, honey.  Divas are about it.  If some crises took place and I’m short on cash, trust and believe looking classy is the last thing that would be on my mind.  Getting back on my financial track would be priority number uno.  Divas work hard for what they want.  I prefer to think that everyone can dress classy, if they know how to shop, where to shop, and how to pull some cute looks together. With that said, I like her style, she has a true sensibility of fashion.  That's why she's on Diva Living Today, so go ahead, take a look.  She has a few really good tips.  Enjoy!

Diva don’t ever sing the blues, at least not when it comes to your life.  There are things in life that we can’t change, they don’t have a viable solution, like cancer or the death of a loved one.  Most situations that arise do have a solution, you just have to be willing to find the right solution for you.  Take a step back and look at all the facts.  Never make a decision without getting as much information as possible – an informed decision is usually the best decision. 

Some decisions, like moving out of the state or county will take months of research and planning.  Deciding whether you should deal with someone trying to defame your reputation, however, should be instant.  The only time needed here is to determine how best to address the concern.  Women have to get into the mindset where if what is happening is negatively affecting us, we have to take action.  Why cry about it, when you can be about it. Work through whatever emotions you have to, but by all means address the situation so that you can move on with your head held high.  Don’t let anyone kill your spirit sister soldier.  There is always a way to deal with unethical people, walking away singing the blues is absolutely not the way.

Have you ever had a compliment in reverse? I overheard a woman doing just that and I thought to myself, "Dang, really?  Who are you right now...girl"  There is a purpose for thinking before you talk.  Sometimes, people say things that show you who they are and what they are thinking.  Just because you say something with a smile on your face, doesn’t mean you’re not throwing enough shade to cause an eclipse for a full week.  What’s really funny is, people whose comments are motivated by jealousy or hatred don’t always realize that their capital “E” for envy is apparent.  Back to my father’s sayings again – He said, “No one will know you’re stupid, until you open your mouth”.   It sounds harsh, but it’s so true.  Some thoughts are best left in the head, especially if you have not as yet worked through your personal stuff.  You know, the stuff that makes you say things that put you in a negative light.

Some ladies really need to get their life.  But until they do, divas have to keep it pushing.  I’d like to take a minute to give advice to the other girls.  Here we go… Ladies, don’t let jealousy of someone else make a fool out of you.  We have to learn to value ourselves and know that we are better than that.  Women must do what they need to do to make themselves happy and confident.  Attempting to pull someone down by being a hater, won’t solve a personal problem.  The energy you spend being negative is energy that you should use as you work to make yourself a better person.  Once you commit to doing the work, you’ll have no interest or need to indulge in the nonsense.  Make yourself your priority and leave other people alone. Just words to the wise.

There are diseases out there that come about due to stress.  High blood pressure, bleeding ulcers and strokes can take you off this planet when stress takes over and your body reacts.  None of us can avoid every stressful situation that may come our way.  We can certainly avoid any stressful situation, but in other situations, we have to deal with head on.

Once again controlling our stress by making good choices is one way to avoid unnecessary frustration.  Avoid stressful situations and people who are stress magnets.  You know the type, drama, annoyance aggravation, I’m sure at least one name comes to mind.  Yep, leave that person alone.  Arguing and fighting, headaches - diva that’s no way to live.  You can’t change anybody, sometimes you have to just let people simmer in their own sauce and move on with your life.

When things get uncontrollably hectic, be it deadlines at work, or problems at home – it’s time for you to decompress and refocus.  And, if you happen to have both going on at the same time, sister, catch it quick.  Before you realize it, your pressure could be at an all-time high and you can find yourself physically getting ill.  Know your body and listen to it.  If it’s screaming at you to slow down and you can’t right now, find time in between to relax, unwind and have fun.  If you play your cards right, you’ll be able to refuel, get back in the game and win.  

Once you see the true essence of a person, no further conversation is necessary.  People are really not that complicated.  Sooner or later you will get to know who someone really is and you must respect that.  I think what we have to understand is that no one has to be, act, or think how we want them to think. What we must understand is, we have one responsibility and that is to be honest with ourselves.  We have to make choices that speak to our truth.  When someone speaks their truth or show you who they are, the best thing you can do is… believe them and act accordingly.

Honey life is too short to concern yourself with negativity.  Rise above it.  At what point did you forget about what is important to you and redirect your attention to foolishness.  By now we all know that we cannot control everything, what we can do though is control our own destiny. You can pick up and make whatever boss move your heart desire.  So just know, it’s a waste of time to be reactive.  Think proactively – Diva, worry less about what people think and more about your next boss move.  And if you really don’t have any plans, now is as good a time as any to make one.

Perfect Winged Eyeliner Tutorial ♡ Cat Eye Liner

Sometimes you just must look your best, what diva doesn't love being dolled up from time to time.  Applying your makeup properly is obviously important.  Nothing finishes the look to me like a cat eye.  I absolutely, love a cat eye, but it has to be right.  There are so many ways of doing it, but this is one of the best quite easy, ways I’ve seen.  Using the right brush is paramount. Hope it works for you.  Smooches!!!

  

So, you said your not voting uh.  Diva you know tomorrow is Election Day and every woman who is a citizen of the United States have a responsibility to get out and vote.  Woman were able to vote from 1913 onward.  In most states, black women were able to vote in 1920 onward.  People fought and died so that a woman can have this, today.  Those people didn’t die in vain.  They had the hope that women would be able to use their God given talents and intelligence to make good decisions that will affect them and generations to come.  Step up to the challenge and let your voice be heard through your vote.

Some people say the vote doesn’t matter.  Honey, if you have lived long enough, you know everything you do or don’t do matters, this is no different.  Another excuse is we don’t have a good candidate.  Let me tell you something, no one is perfect.  If you’re waiting for the perfect candidate, you have a long wait. The best we can hope for is to choose a person who has grown as a human being, for the better, over their lifetime.  We must choose a person who understands the issues of the American people and care enough to ensure everyone moves forward.   Since we must have a president, choose the best candidate you can, but by all means, get out and vote diva.    

Some people think they need to be around friends and family all the time.  If they are alone for a minute, their board.  It’s like currency, everybody needs it and when you get it, you have to spend it wisely.  You could do something as simple as cleaning and organizing your closet or as elaborate as spending the whole day eating out, shopping, and reading in the park.  Whether you have 2 hours or 24, it is time well deserved and it’s all yours – enjoy it.  The word “board” should never be part of the equation.  

I spent some alone time, cleaning out and color coordinating my closet.  I put some music on and got to it.  The next time I had to go out and I went in my closet to find an outfit.  Oh, I threw my hands up in the air and said, “Yes – fabulous darling.”  It’s the small things in life sometimes that are just wonderful.  I can only think of a few things better than a neat closet where you can find everything nice and easy.  Since I’m on a health kick and I’m losing weight, every few weeks I have to revisit my closet, look for clothes that no longer fit and, get rid of them f-o-r-e-v-e-r!

And then there is my fav store Home Goods, let me add they are not all created equal but I found an excellent one on route 73 S in South Jersey, and it’s the only one I shop at.  Queen Diva Extraordinaire manages this one, and she deserves a raise. It’s neat, well organized and let’s say you’ll want one of each item in the store.  Why go to bloomi's if you can find it at Home Goods for a fraction of the cost – I’m just saying.  Sometimes shopping is best done alone.  Diva, just a note, don’t take children with you on this excursion.  You will either bore them to death or they will insist on getting their room redecorated. You lose either way.  I’ve seen babies screaming their little heads off and young teens with arms crossed pissed because they can’t get the room decor they are arguing about.  I shake my head and think, “No, no, no diva – this is not the way to spend your alone time”.  Reason being, you’re not alone and you’re annoyed.  A few weeks ago, there was a woman ahead of me who turned around and admired something I had in my cart.  I looked in her cart and saw her crying 2 year old.  The woman said, I thought this was going to be a quiet, fun, alone  time, I was wrong.”  I told her, “Next time…shop alone and it will be.” We both laughed as she rushed out the store.

Whatever you decide to do, plan it and enjoy!!!

100 Years of Workplace Fashion | Glamour

We've Come A Long Way Baby!

Women are constantly improving themselves and their fashion.  It's interesting to see how we have progressed in fashion and in the workplace over the years.  Hope you enjoy the video.

The best way to stop a bully is to punch them dead in the face.  I heard this on T.V. and thought, well, that might have been an effective method in elementary school, but what do you do about a bully who is all grown up.  It is certainly a challenge when you are faced with bullying in the workplace.  You get to work on time each day and you do a wonderful job.  You're helpful, friendly, and have a professional demeanor.  Unfortunately for some employees, this is far from enough.  Some people come to work with a lot of personal baggage and sometimes their behavior or lack thereof get in the way of workflow and production.  It can also create a stressful situation for you, if you don’t manage things well.  Whether it be a colleague or especially your supervisor/boss, people who play games and set themselves out to harass other members of staff help to create a hostile work environment.  Companies would be wise to put policies in place to discourage such an abuse of power.  You would be surprised to know that an individual’s low self-esteem, jealousy and ego often prevents companies and their clients from profiting  from a smooth and seamless productive day.  This can happen all because of one person whose ego is out of check – it’s a loose, loose situation.

Why do adults bully?  There are so many reasons and combinations of reasons, we could go on for a week.  I think the biggest reason people bully is to make themselves feel better about who they are.  Low self-esteem, in my humble opinion, is reason number one.  People who don’t feel smart enough, tall enough, cute enough or feel like they need to be in a higher mental position than you, may lash out.  Jealousy is reason number two.  Are you smart, do you do a great job and, put your best foot forward?  Do you take pride in your appearance, are you well liked?  If you answered yes to any of these, then you should know, there will be haters.  Bullying crosses all socioeconomic statuses and all races.  The more power a bully have, the more tactics and antics you are bound to have thrown your way.  Sometimes the behavior is devious, ruthless and downright ridiculous, but they will come at you hard and strong, trying to ruin your reputation, destroy your work history and career.  Bullies at work spend lots of time trying to convince others that you don’t know what you’re doing and you are a terrible person.  It’s all about distorting the truth and creating their revised perception of you, then spreading that around. They are good at playing politics and if you are surprised at what you seen them do, then trust and believe what you haven’t seen is usually much worse.  The level of hate could be toxic and when their rage is directed at you, it can be quite confusing, upsetting and worse.  So let me help a diva out.

You cannot bury your head in the sand and let this person depress, oppress or harass you into tears.  

You certainly can’t allow them to destroy your career.  It’s time to put the big girl hat on.  The first thing to know, “It’s not what people call you, it’s what you answer to.  This is a wonderful saying, the author deserves three snaps to the wind.  Your behavior and your interpretation of who you are is your reality.  No one gets to change who you are or the perception of who you are unless you let them – don’t let them.  You know the old saying, “You can fool some of the people some of the time, but you can’t fool all the people, all the time.”  Yep, another noteworthy quote.  Not everybody is going to believe all the hype and lies.  Your bully is not the leader of the free world, their behavior can be counteracted.  The important thing is not to let anyone ever feel like it is okay to disrespect you.  If it happens once, it will happen again, so you will have to address it.  But in the most professional manner, of course. Bullies love to intimidate and embarrass you, if possible.  You can certainly shut this down.  I won’t tell you step by step what to do because every situation is different and you can definitely google strategies for dealing with bullies in the workplace.  What I will tell you is not to lower yourself, your standards or your work ethics in an attempt to deal with someone who is willing to take the low road.  I don’t believe you have to fight fire with fire.  Fight fire with water, honey.  Save your energy for people in your life worth fighting for.  These are a few things I think you should keep in mind when dealing with a bully in the workplace.

1.     You know who you are - no one can change that unless you allow it.

2.     You will never be able to solve the problem for someone who may need therapy unless you have such license and medication don’t sign up for the job. 

3.     You are the only one that should tell the world who you are by your work and actions.  Counteract any threats to the truth.

4.     Don’t allow yourself to be isolated, don’t suffer in silence.  Don’t become anyone’s victim.

5.     Be proactive when and where possible. 

6.     Know when it’s time to walk away.  Know when it’s time to stand – you decide.

7.     Unlike your bully who will be consumed with destroying you (he or she may spend a lot of time thinking of how to upset you), limit the time and brain cells you use thinking about this person.  Don’t take them home with you, don’t start every personal conversation with their foolishness.  No one that behaves like a bully deserves this amount of your energy or time.  Be a person of action.  Act more, talk less.

8.     Know that whether you believe in, or like politics in the workplace, it is very much alive and well.  Handle yourself accordingly.

There are bullies everywhere, so running away from them is rarely the answer.  Sometimes we have to stand on the principals of justice.  Be a person of honor with a high ethical code of conduct in every situation.  Make the best decisions you can for you and your family, especially when dealing with a bully in the workplace.