Sunday, December 18, 2016
Sometimes you just have to shake things up. I’m a person that loves, needs consistency. But every once in a while, I can appreciate redirection, doing things differently or experiencing new things. Sometimes you have to push yourself out of your comfort zone and take a chance on the new thing. Whether it means travelling some place different, eating at a new restaurant or simply changing your hair style, everybody knows when it’s time for a change – doing it is another thing.
For the New Year make yourself a promise that you will not let an opportunity to experience something new or different pass you by. Life enriching opportunities are quite essential. Anything that picks you up or makes you say wow… okay, is worth a try. Take the road less travelled, live a little. And yes, drag the fam and friends along for the experience. Make new wonderful memories. Enjoy!
Sunday, December 11, 2016
Wednesday, December 7, 2016
So you lent your bestie some cash and now you’re not speaking because she hasn’t paid you back? Say it ain’t so. I have heard many of stories that ended just this way. I personally don’t believe in lending money to friends and family for this exact reason. The situation has the potential to end relationships in the worst way. If I have it and it is really needed, I prefer to just give it, because once you say loan, there is an expectation that you will be repaid. The minute we feel that someone who we helped is trying to take advantage, the inner evil Laquisha is bound to rear her head and stuff will pop off. Fights, arguments, Judge Judy – it’s not a good look.
Some folks knew they had no intention of paying you back when they borrowed from you. But, even the best intentions to pay back can be changed due to additional financial problems. So, if you are going to lend money, at least lend money that you can afford to lose. (ie. Not your mortgage or car payment, etc.)
The truth of the matter is, if we and our loved ones build an emergency fund, when most emergencies do happen, they can be handled without outside assistance. What divas won’t let happen is, our bestie waste her money on what she feels like and then turn to us when she needs her bills paid. We teach people how to treat us, so teach well. You can’t allow anyone to use you like an ATM card. We all have to be financially responsible. Encourage self-preservation and budgeting unless you’re prepared to be your friend’s emergency fund, show her how it’s done. Share the wealth of knowledge - knowledge is power diva.
Saturday, December 3, 2016
For the life of me, I can’t understand why woman share their personal business with people they know will share it with everyone else. What’s even more ridiculous is that time, after time, after time, they are surprised to hear their personal business in the streets.
Girl, let me tell you something, there are different caliber of friends. Don’t get it twisted, like relatives – they do not all behave the same way. I understand that sometimes, it’s necessary to talk / vent. It helps to clear the mind, one may even get a solution by talking or brainstorming with someone about a problem. But let’s be clear, not everybody can: a. help you, b. want to help you and c. have the ability to keep your private business private. If girlfriend blabber mouth is the only person available when you feel you need a friend to talk to, diva put down the phone and pick up a pen and a journal. Bounce ideas off of yourself because at the end of the day, if you think you had a problem before your business and words were shared and twisted, you won’t want to see what your conversation has turned into after a few runs up and down the underground railroad.
I’m not saying not to forgive girlfriend blabber mouth, put please learn your life lesson here girl. Share your private business sparingly with people you can trust to keep it private. Some folks can’t hold water never mind your business. Keep your conversation on a superficial level with this type of person. Talk about the weather, fashion, you know things that won’t channel your inner evil Laquisha if you hear it repeated. In other words, share with girlfriend blabber mouth what you want the streets to hear. Don’t be driving the stress train to your own front door diva.
Tuesday, November 29, 2016
Before you know it, it will be the end of the year. We are pushing December in a few days and I’m sure most people are thinking about Christmas and those festivities. Equally important is good health. I like to start each New Year out by checking in with my doctor’s. You and I both know that as women, we must have our annual checkup, our life depends on it. For me, tying it into the beginning of a New Year guarantee’s two things: 1. I won’t forget to schedule them, because I schedule everything within the month of January. 2. I can’t think of a better way to start off the New Year than to work on my health.
So if you don’t have a system or a plan for your annual checkup. January is as good a month as any to get it done. Here are a few things you need to think about doing:
Get a complete blood test. It should include testing your thyroid and cholesterol / Lipid Profile.
When the results come in, don’t accept, the response, “You’re good to go”. Get a copy of the results from your doctor’s office and have them explain what each test is for and what the results mean. Knowledge is power honey. It’s important to know if your pre-anything. You might be able to turn things around if you know before an onset and act now. It’s smart to, at minimum, think ahead of the questions you may want to ask your doctor about your health. Take care of you diva, no one will do it better.
Get your blood pressure and blood count checked.
Breast Exam & Mammogram is very necessary, especially for women of a certain age.
Colonoscopy to detect colon cancer (every 5 years or so)
Heart Health Exam
Mole Screening that little otherwise insignificant mole may be the first sign of cancer. It’s important to get it routinely checked to ensure it’s not malignant.
Check with your doctor for other exams that may be necessary for you based on your health and family history. Have a healthy New Year!
Monday, November 28, 2016
There was one life lesson I learned in college, when all the huge reading assignments, projects and reports were all due around the same time. I learned that sometimes the end is not in sight, but if you don’t keep working hard, you will never reach the end successfully. Sometimes you have to do what I call, double time it and sink your heels in girl. It’s what divas do when quitting is not an option. We move at the speed of sound with laser focus, why because winning is the only option.
Don’t we wish life was this perfect package, where all we have to do is open it and you know, live? Wish Island is an overcrowded place. So if you find yourself wishing to long...snap out of it. When it comes to life, the truth is, you will get what you put in. Life is like college. You could work comfortably and get a “C”, you can put in the effort and get a “B” or you could decide, if I’m here, I’m knocking it out and “A” is the only option - it’s all up to you. You can be an “A” student because you’re very smart and learning is super easy for you or you can be an “A” student, because you are willing to do whatever you have to do to master the information. At the end of the day an A is an A, is an A.
Whatever you decide to do in life, be patient, everything don’t always work out as planned. Be flexible, sometimes plans must change. Be diligent, dig the stilettos in and double time it when necessary. It’s for you, so do your best job and never quit. Whether you can see the light at the end of the tunnel or not, doesn’t mean it’s not there. Keep working and eventually, before you know it, it will be successfully over.
Sunday, November 27, 2016
If we are going to take the time to do our nails ourselves, we may as well do it right. The challenge some women face is, neglecting the proper nail clean-up afterwards. But knowing a few good tips will also make a huge difference in the look of the final product. I think this tutorial may seem like a snoozer but if you give it a few minutes, you will pick up a lot of important tips, tricks and products that will help you apply nail polish like a pro. Take a few minutes to watch, it's worth it.
Tuesday, November 22, 2016
Getting married is one of the most exciting times in any woman’s life. Who wouldn’t want to look like a princess as she marries the man of her dreams? It’s wonderful, when you find the right one and you’re ready to marry your very best friend. If someone you know is getting married, there are a few things that you can do to make it easier for the bride and groom:
1. Be cooperative. It’s their day, be the person who doesn’t bring drama, making the wedding a stressful situation.
2. Help where you can. Couples need the support of their family and friends. Ask how you can help.
3. Order from the registry when possible. Although I’m certain the couple will love that you thought of them and want to send them off with a good start, purchasing from the registry makes life easier. This will help to eliminate 5 toasters, 3 blenders 3 sets of pots all without receipts.
4. If the guest list is 150 people, please don’t bring +10. A catered affair cost thousands of dollars and everyone has a limit and budget unless of course you’re Oprah.
Enjoy the evening and avoid the critique crowd. The last thing you need is someone telling your sister you said this or that about her special day. If you have nothing good to say, say nothing. Diva, just show up and be supportive.
Saturday, November 19, 2016
Hurry!!! Diva Living Today has had over 1,000 page views, 1,018 to be exact. Okay divas, you've been doing a little reading. Thank you so much...
I think what's so exciting, is to see how many new countries are following. Just luv it, diva's around the world are reading Diva Living Today - I'm lovin' it. Whenever we pass a milestone, I like to share the stats, so here is a partial list. I can't wait to write my new blogs. See you on the page...
Okay, so I don't necessarily agree with everything, especially the title, "How to look expensive and classy when you are broke.” In my opinion, a more appropriate title would be, Dressing Classy on a Budget. I would prefer that the person work on themselves, complete their education and not suffer through being broke.
Diva's and the word broke can't be used in the same sentence, honey. Divas are about it. If some crises took place and I’m short on cash, trust and believe looking classy is the last thing that would be on my mind. Getting back on my financial track would be priority number uno. Divas work hard for what they want. I prefer to think that everyone can dress classy, if they know how to shop, where to shop, and how to pull some cute looks together. With that said, I like her style, she has a true sensibility of fashion. That's why she's on Diva Living Today, so go ahead, take a look. She has a few really good tips. Enjoy!
Diva don’t ever sing the blues, at least not when it comes to your life. There are things in life that we can’t change, they don’t have a viable solution, like cancer or the death of a loved one. Most situations that arise do have a solution, you just have to be willing to find the right solution for you. Take a step back and look at all the facts. Never make a decision without getting as much information as possible – an informed decision is usually the best decision.
Some decisions, like moving out of the state or county will take months of research and planning. Deciding whether you should deal with someone trying to defame your reputation, however, should be instant. The only time needed here is to determine how best to address the concern. Women have to get into the mindset where if what is happening is negatively affecting us, we have to take action. Why cry about it, when you can be about it. Work through whatever emotions you have to, but by all means address the situation so that you can move on with your head held high. Don’t let anyone kill your spirit sister soldier. There is always a way to deal with unethical people, walking away singing the blues is absolutely not the way.
Thursday, November 17, 2016
Have you ever had a compliment in reverse? I overheard a woman doing just that and I thought to myself, "Dang, really? Who are you right now...girl" There is a purpose for thinking before you talk. Sometimes, people say things that show you who they are and what they are thinking. Just because you say something with a smile on your face, doesn’t mean you’re not throwing enough shade to cause an eclipse for a full week. What’s really funny is, people whose comments are motivated by jealousy or hatred don’t always realize that their capital “E” for envy is apparent. Back to my father’s sayings again – He said, “No one will know you’re stupid, until you open your mouth”. It sounds harsh, but it’s so true. Some thoughts are best left in the head, especially if you have not as yet worked through your personal stuff. You know, the stuff that makes you say things that put you in a negative light.
Some ladies really need to get their life. But until they do, divas have to keep it pushing. I’d like to take a minute to give advice to the other girls. Here we go… Ladies, don’t let jealousy of someone else make a fool out of you. We have to learn to value ourselves and know that we are better than that. Women must do what they need to do to make themselves happy and confident. Attempting to pull someone down by being a hater, won’t solve a personal problem. The energy you spend being negative is energy that you should use as you work to make yourself a better person. Once you commit to doing the work, you’ll have no interest or need to indulge in the nonsense. Make yourself your priority and leave other people alone. Just words to the wise.
Monday, November 14, 2016
There are diseases out there that come about due to stress. High blood pressure, bleeding ulcers and strokes can take you off this planet when stress takes over and your body reacts. None of us can avoid every stressful situation that may come our way. We can certainly avoid any stressful situation, but in other situations, we have to deal with head on.
Once again controlling our stress by making good choices is one way to avoid unnecessary frustration. Avoid stressful situations and people who are stress magnets. You know the type, drama, annoyance aggravation, I’m sure at least one name comes to mind. Yep, leave that person alone. Arguing and fighting, headaches - diva that’s no way to live. You can’t change anybody, sometimes you have to just let people simmer in their own sauce and move on with your life.
When things get uncontrollably hectic, be it deadlines at work, or problems at home – it’s time for you to decompress and refocus. And, if you happen to have both going on at the same time, sister, catch it quick. Before you realize it, your pressure could be at an all-time high and you can find yourself physically getting ill. Know your body and listen to it. If it’s screaming at you to slow down and you can’t right now, find time in between to relax, unwind and have fun. If you play your cards right, you’ll be able to refuel, get back in the game and win.
Thursday, November 10, 2016
Once you see the true essence of a person, no further conversation is necessary. People are really not that complicated. Sooner or later you will get to know who someone really is and you must respect that. I think what we have to understand is that no one has to be, act, or think how we want them to think. What we must understand is, we have one responsibility and that is to be honest with ourselves. We have to make choices that speak to our truth. When someone speaks their truth or show you who they are, the best thing you can do is… believe them and act accordingly.
Honey life is too short to concern yourself with negativity. Rise above it. At what point did you forget about what is important to you and redirect your attention to foolishness. By now we all know that we cannot control everything, what we can do though is control our own destiny. You can pick up and make whatever boss move your heart desire. So just know, it’s a waste of time to be reactive. Think proactively – Diva, worry less about what people think and more about your next boss move. And if you really don’t have any plans, now is as good a time as any to make one.
Wednesday, November 9, 2016
Sometimes you just must look your best, what diva doesn't love being dolled up from time to time. Applying your makeup properly is obviously important. Nothing finishes the look to me like a cat eye. I absolutely, love a cat eye, but it has to be right. There are so many ways of doing it, but this is one of the best quite easy, ways I’ve seen. Using the right brush is paramount. Hope it works for you. Smooches!!!
Monday, November 7, 2016
So, you said your not voting uh. Diva you know tomorrow is Election Day and every woman who is a citizen of the United States have a responsibility to get out and vote. Woman were able to vote from 1913 onward. In most states, black women were able to vote in 1920 onward. People fought and died so that a woman can have this, today. Those people didn’t die in vain. They had the hope that women would be able to use their God given talents and intelligence to make good decisions that will affect them and generations to come. Step up to the challenge and let your voice be heard through your vote.
Some people say the vote doesn’t matter. Honey, if you have lived long enough, you know everything you do or don’t do matters, this is no different. Another excuse is we don’t have a good candidate. Let me tell you something, no one is perfect. If you’re waiting for the perfect candidate, you have a long wait. The best we can hope for is to choose a person who has grown as a human being, for the better, over their lifetime. We must choose a person who understands the issues of the American people and care enough to ensure everyone moves forward. Since we must have a president, choose the best candidate you can, but by all means, get out and vote diva.
Sunday, November 6, 2016
Some people think they need to be around friends and family all the time. If they are alone for a minute, their board. It’s like currency, everybody needs it and when you get it, you have to spend it wisely. You could do something as simple as cleaning and organizing your closet or as elaborate as spending the whole day eating out, shopping, and reading in the park. Whether you have 2 hours or 24, it is time well deserved and it’s all yours – enjoy it. The word “board” should never be part of the equation.
I spent some alone time, cleaning out and color coordinating my closet. I put some music on and got to it. The next time I had to go out and I went in my closet to find an outfit. Oh, I threw my hands up in the air and said, “Yes – fabulous darling.” It’s the small things in life sometimes that are just wonderful. I can only think of a few things better than a neat closet where you can find everything nice and easy. Since I’m on a health kick and I’m losing weight, every few weeks I have to revisit my closet, look for clothes that no longer fit and, get rid of them f-o-r-e-v-e-r!
And then there is my fav store Home Goods, let me add they are not all created equal but I found an excellent one on route 73 S in South Jersey, and it’s the only one I shop at. Queen Diva Extraordinaire manages this one, and she deserves a raise. It’s neat, well organized and let’s say you’ll want one of each item in the store. Why go to bloomi's if you can find it at Home Goods for a fraction of the cost – I’m just saying. Sometimes shopping is best done alone. Diva, just a note, don’t take children with you on this excursion. You will either bore them to death or they will insist on getting their room redecorated. You lose either way. I’ve seen babies screaming their little heads off and young teens with arms crossed pissed because they can’t get the room decor they are arguing about. I shake my head and think, “No, no, no diva – this is not the way to spend your alone time”. Reason being, you’re not alone and you’re annoyed. A few weeks ago, there was a woman ahead of me who turned around and admired something I had in my cart. I looked in her cart and saw her crying 2 year old. The woman said, I thought this was going to be a quiet, fun, alone time, I was wrong.” I told her, “Next time…shop alone and it will be.” We both laughed as she rushed out the store.
Whatever you decide to do, plan it and enjoy!!!
Thursday, November 3, 2016
Wednesday, November 2, 2016
The best way to stop a bully is to punch them dead in the face. I heard this on T.V. and thought, well, that might have been an effective method in elementary school, but what do you do about a bully who is all grown up. It is certainly a challenge when you are faced with bullying in the workplace. You get to work on time each day and you do a wonderful job. You're helpful, friendly, and have a professional demeanor. Unfortunately for some employees, this is far from enough. Some people come to work with a lot of personal baggage and sometimes their behavior or lack thereof get in the way of workflow and production. It can also create a stressful situation for you, if you don’t manage things well. Whether it be a colleague or especially your supervisor/boss, people who play games and set themselves out to harass other members of staff help to create a hostile work environment. Companies would be wise to put policies in place to discourage such an abuse of power. You would be surprised to know that an individual’s low self-esteem, jealousy and ego often prevents companies and their clients from profiting from a smooth and seamless productive day. This can happen all because of one person whose ego is out of check – it’s a loose, loose situation.
Why do adults bully? There are so many reasons and combinations of reasons, we could go on for a week. I think the biggest reason people bully is to make themselves feel better about who they are. Low self-esteem, in my humble opinion, is reason number one. People who don’t feel smart enough, tall enough, cute enough or feel like they need to be in a higher mental position than you, may lash out. Jealousy is reason number two. Are you smart, do you do a great job and, put your best foot forward? Do you take pride in your appearance, are you well liked? If you answered yes to any of these, then you should know, there will be haters. Bullying crosses all socioeconomic statuses and all races. The more power a bully have, the more tactics and antics you are bound to have thrown your way. Sometimes the behavior is devious, ruthless and downright ridiculous, but they will come at you hard and strong, trying to ruin your reputation, destroy your work history and career. Bullies at work spend lots of time trying to convince others that you don’t know what you’re doing and you are a terrible person. It’s all about distorting the truth and creating their revised perception of you, then spreading that around. They are good at playing politics and if you are surprised at what you seen them do, then trust and believe what you haven’t seen is usually much worse. The level of hate could be toxic and when their rage is directed at you, it can be quite confusing, upsetting and worse. So let me help a diva out.
You cannot bury your head in the sand and let this person depress, oppress or harass you into tears.
You certainly can’t allow them to destroy your career. It’s time to put the big girl hat on. The first thing to know, “It’s not what people call you, it’s what you answer to. This is a wonderful saying, the author deserves three snaps to the wind. Your behavior and your interpretation of who you are is your reality. No one gets to change who you are or the perception of who you are unless you let them – don’t let them. You know the old saying, “You can fool some of the people some of the time, but you can’t fool all the people, all the time.” Yep, another noteworthy quote. Not everybody is going to believe all the hype and lies. Your bully is not the leader of the free world, their behavior can be counteracted. The important thing is not to let anyone ever feel like it is okay to disrespect you. If it happens once, it will happen again, so you will have to address it. But in the most professional manner, of course. Bullies love to intimidate and embarrass you, if possible. You can certainly shut this down. I won’t tell you step by step what to do because every situation is different and you can definitely google strategies for dealing with bullies in the workplace. What I will tell you is not to lower yourself, your standards or your work ethics in an attempt to deal with someone who is willing to take the low road. I don’t believe you have to fight fire with fire. Fight fire with water, honey. Save your energy for people in your life worth fighting for. These are a few things I think you should keep in mind when dealing with a bully in the workplace.
1. You know who you are - no one can change that unless you allow it.
2. You will never be able to solve the problem for someone who may need therapy unless you have such license and medication don’t sign up for the job.
3. You are the only one that should tell the world who you are by your work and actions. Counteract any threats to the truth.
4. Don’t allow yourself to be isolated, don’t suffer in silence. Don’t become anyone’s victim.
5. Be proactive when and where possible.
6. Know when it’s time to walk away. Know when it’s time to stand – you decide.
7. Unlike your bully who will be consumed with destroying you (he or she may spend a lot of time thinking of how to upset you), limit the time and brain cells you use thinking about this person. Don’t take them home with you, don’t start every personal conversation with their foolishness. No one that behaves like a bully deserves this amount of your energy or time. Be a person of action. Act more, talk less.
8. Know that whether you believe in, or like politics in the workplace, it is very much alive and well. Handle yourself accordingly.
There are bullies everywhere, so running away from them is rarely the answer. Sometimes we have to stand on the principals of justice. Be a person of honor with a high ethical code of conduct in every situation. Make the best decisions you can for you and your family, especially when dealing with a bully in the workplace.
Monday, October 31, 2016
I overheard a lady talking in Starbucks and she said she won’t wear anything but real jewelry. “I won’t let that fake stuff touch my body”. Her friend looked like she wanted to die. Okay Kimora, nope I’m wrong Kimora wears costume jewelry. Okay Kim Kardashian, Oops she wears costume jewelry too. She must be Oprah, negative Oprah wears costume jewelry as well. Millionaires wear costume jewelry. Of course, it’s a preference, anyone can wear what they want. But when you are standing in a public place denouncing costume jewelry and then you jump in a Nissan Sentra – I can’t, my latte nearly came through my nose that was too funny.
Listen fellow diva’s, I love costume jewelry. To me, jewelry is like wearing a piece of art. I like the basic bling, but it’s nice to see creativity, so the pieces that I tend to gravitate to tend to be unique a little different than the norm. But I love big stones or small stones. Pieces that make a bold statement and pieces that are famine and dainty. Nothing is more delightful to me than to put on a black and white dress and wear a humongous ruby red ring. That’s the wonderful thing about costume jewelry, it is fairly inexpensive so you can pretty much buy whatever you want. I love mixing it up. Bold necklaces next time a bold bunch of bangles – it is oh so much fun. If you buy decent costume jewelry it will last for years. My oldest piece of costume jewelry is a Monet broach, its 25 years old and still is just as beautiful as when I purchased it. As far as I am concerned, you’re not completely dressed until you have accessorized. There is so much absolutely fabulous stuff out there. What I find is, if you are true to your fashion sense, when you pick a piece of costume jewelry, you’ll always have something to wear it with, because we tend to like certain colors etc. What I have also noted is that if you pick something you absolutely love, you will love it 20 years later. If you choose something fabu, it will certainly be a timeless piece – a treasure.
Of course I love gold jewelry, please believe me. What diva doesn’t have a few trinkets honey? But I’m rarely willing to spend that kind of money. Besides, shopping for costume jewelry is so much fun and it can take that plain dress or pants suit and make it look like it just came off the runway for pennies on the dollar. Okay, not exactly runway, but close enough. People often get so caught up on status, but the smart person’s money is in their bank account, better yet invested. They are not wearing their life savings on their finger. Just a sip of tea for you diva.
Friday, October 28, 2016
The commitment to exercise regularly is such a difficult one to keep. Not because exercise isn’t important, we know that it is. The commitment to exercise is difficult because, you do what you practice. Like brushing your teeth, if you have done it every day of your life, you have no problem. If you haven’t exercised regularly, that is where the challenge is. We have to change our brain. Pushing yourself to exercise regularly will give you an opportunity to create a new normal. The thing is, you have to get yourself on a schedule and stick to it.
As I’m struggling with consistency in this area, I had an epiphany after speaking to my sister about this subject yesterday. No matter how early I need to get going or how late it is when I’m getting ready for bed, I brush my teeth and wash my face. That is the consistency I must have with fighting the battle of the bulge,” as I am committed to good health. So this weekend, I’m going to take some time to create a nice “do or die” exercise regimen for myself that has the proper mix of cardio, weight training etc. I saw a plan that was entitled, “Abs on fire”. I thought to myself, don’t hurt me. Oh lord, I’m going to feel that in the morning. But that is okay. Once I break down those muscles and they are built up again, it’s going to be awesome.
This area of my life is as good as fixed – oh yeah. Diva, sometimes we have to take a stand and ensure we do and get what we need to be healthy and happy. I’m putting my foot down. It’s time for a change.
Thursday, October 27, 2016
I live for a day at the spa. This is what you do, call two girlfriends and set up a spa day. I’m serious, it is the best thing you can do for yourself. You will be so relaxed, I promise you, you will almost float out of there. Sometimes work or life in general can be hectic – a little stressful. One of the best ways to relax is a massage and facial. These days everybody is so busy, if you do have a girl’s day, it is more like a girl’s hour. You end up meeting your sisters at the spa. Nope, that is not the way to start out the women’s rejuvenation session. This is what you do:
1. Meet at one person’s house for lunch and ride together. The unwinding will begin as soon as everyone is catching up laughing and joking around. Continue the conversation in the car – we do this over music – don’t ask, it just works.
2. Choose your massage and facial. (Live a little, try something different each time.)
3. Some girls love to take time while getting their massage to chat it up. Me, this is where I say adios. I love to Zen out alone. The massage comes first for me then comes the facial. It’s not so easy to stay awake with that music in the background.
4. When it’s time to leave, listen to relaxing music all the way back home. The only thing left to do is give your hugs and kisses goodbye.
5. You have spent quality time with your girlfriends, you’re relaxed and ready for another productive week.
Now that I have shared this priceless secret with you, please make all checks payable to…=)
Wednesday, October 26, 2016
There are so many ways to live your life. I choose to live fabulous. It really is okay to live your life the way you want to live. We don’t need anyone’s permission on how we choose to live. This is very important to note because there will be people who act as if you need to run any changes you make by them. You may choose as a courtesy, to share goals with family members or friends – that is your choice. Do you have to run things past your neighbor or colleagues – again your choice. There is a difference between telling someone what I am going to do and asking them. Sometimes that distinction is not realized.
There are some instances when you may need a conversation with a spouse about things simply because your life partners – hopefully he’ll be supportive. I’m not talking about a new dress, or how you choose to wear your hair – I think every diva can handle that. There will be situations as you pursue your fabulous lifestyle that may require a careful, agreed upon, thought-out plan. For example, going back to school if you have young children will require a meeting of the minds. People that love you will help you make good decisions that keep you happy and help you reach your goals.
People who verbally or none verbally show their disapproval (disrespectfully) on how you live, what you choose to wear and other choices you may make, could easily end up in the non-factor category. If you are making good choices for yourself and dressing well, you are in a good place – stay there. The one thing you need to realize is, if you didn’t ask for an opinion, there really is no reason to care what they think, especially if they are showing their disapproval in a rude way. People who are in your circle should be supportive. What’s funny is, it usually is the person with no fashion sense, no sense at all that has the strongest negative opinion. We are so far away from the junior high school bullying situation of yesteryear. It would be advantageous for this person to focus on her wonderful life and leave yours alone. Unfortunately, this type of person never worries about themselves. They are often too busy worrying about everyone else. When you improve your life and others refuse to, some folks may get annoyed by your growth and development. This is their problem, not yours – don’t worry about it. Live your life girl and if you choose to be fabulous you are in good company. Do everything as much as is in your power to move forward in your life in a positive way – that is what divas do.
Girls just want to have fun is a true statement. I love to joke and be silly – a good laugh is therapy for the soul. Going on walks clears my head, nonsense is filed away and peace takes over. I love music and writing go figure, I’m a blogger. =) I believe that there is a time and a place for everything. I just love dressing for formal occasions. When I’m at work I dress professionally. I love clothes, bags, etc. So that’s an easy and fun move for me. I focus on my job and do the best job that I can. When I’m at home oh you know I throw the sweats on, but yes they're cute too. What’s fabulous about my life is, I choose to live it my way. I’m the architect of this building and I definitely have plans.
Living fabulous is living rich and I don’t mean with money, although currency has its benefits. I’m speaking strictly about quality of life. Make every moment count diva, we only get one life. There is a big world to explore out there. There are people we need to meet that we don’t know yet. There are friendships we need to form and experiences we need to have. So yes, I choose to live fabulous, I choose to enjoy my life, and you should too. I choose, and I make no apologies for that. Can I get an amen!
Tuesday, October 25, 2016
How full is your happiness tank? We can so easily go through life with our happiness tank almost on empty. It’s called being preoccupied with everybody and everything. You deserve to be truly happy. So if your happiness tank is on low, what can you do to fill it up? Well, it all depends on what makes you happy. What I find from speaking to people is, they either don’t know exactly what will make them happy or they are depending on other people to do it. Let’s address the latter first. If you are depending on anyone else to make you happy, and your happiness tank is on low, clearly that is not working for you. No one is going to be more invested in your happiness than you are. Diva you will have to take the lead on filling up that tank. Now don’t get me wrong, our family and friends should definitely add to our happiness or at least they should be. If they don’t, that is a whole other conversation. But we have to get out of the habit of depending on people to do for us, what we could and should do for ourselves. So, back to the first point of my prior statement, there are quite a few people that don’t know what will make them happy, so let’s talk about that shall we. If you can’t rattle it off, it just means you have not given it enough thought.
Happiness is a state of mind, so what will it take to get you there. That is the question you will have to ask yourself before you can pursue happiness. Oh, you thought it was just going to come to you – sorry, that’s not how it works. Like everything good in life, if you want it, some level of pursuit is necessary. I suggest you take the time to answer the question, “What will make me happy”? Try to see if you can add at least 10 things to the list. Once your list is compiled put your list in priority order. Read it over – if you have been completely honest with yourself, you are on your way. All you have to do now, is begin to work on you. Begin to formulate a work plan, adding objectives to your happiness goals, and start the work. What you will find is that sometimes the sheer initiation of the work, the fact that you are working to fill your happiness tank, will begin to add happiness to your life. This will happen because you are finally working on doing something just for you.
Although I can’t tell you exactly what will make you happy, that’s certainly your journey – I can tell you what makes me happy. So here is my list:
1. My faith in God
2. Seeing my children succeed
3. Spending time with my family & friends
4. Self- improvement – working on me
5. Working on my career
6. Working on my businesses
7. Creating a peaceful environment in my home
8. Unleashing my inner diva
9. Relaxing beachside
10. Progressive family meetings
11. Eating at the Olive Garden – luv it. I’m a cheap date, what can I say.
12. Making sound decisions, living a life with no regrets.
Go for yours diva! Make your life as wonderful as you want it to be. I wish you peace and happiness.
Friday, October 21, 2016
When my dad passed away a few years ago, my world was shaken. He was such a great man, a very generous person who dedicated his entire life to helping people live a better life. When dad died, it was the worst pain I ever felt in my life, you can’t prepare for it. It doesn’t matter if your parent was sick or if they died suddenly – they are still gone, and the pain is hard to manage. When my mom passed away, it was unbelievable. I’m a rational individual. I know people die, and I didn’t expect my parents to live forever, I would have liked them to though – but it’s okay. I know that death is part of the cycle of life. It is truly amazing what we can live through, we are resilient. It is true that every day gets easier, I’ve made my peace with the situation and I could just imagine how happy my parents must be, to be together again.
What I have come to realize, is that my parents’ live on through us. My sisters and brothers, their children, my children and I imagine one day their children. We talk like them, we think like them sometimes and it really gets quite funny when we begin to act like them. Things that annoyed me to death as a child, like all my father’s sayings, I absolutely cherish and use over and over again often. What I learned from the passing of my parents, is just how short our life cycle really is.
We don’t have a minute to waste, but we have certainly all wasted precious time already. Let’s agree no more wasted time, live life to the fullest starting right now. Sometimes that may mean sitting in your most comfortable chair at home and getting your relax on. Other times it may be getting that business started or perhaps going back to school. Whatever “live life to the fullest” means to you right now, do it. We have this precious opportunity to see our life through a brand new pair of lens – don’t let another minute pass you by. Love like there is no tomorrow, make every day your best day. So tomorrow when you wake up, it will be your best day ever. Diva, what are you going to do? I’d love to hear about it. Whatever you decide to do, do it one hundred.
Thursday, October 20, 2016
If your husband is cheating on you, would you want to know? I know this is a very direct question, but it’s worth it to investigate your answer. No one really wants to think about that possibility, especially if you love your husband very much. Some women have the mindset, what I don’t know can’t hurt me. And although I emphatically disagree, I understand that once you know, everything will change. I also understand that there is often more at stake than one would initially think, you have to enter these gates with caution but enter them you must.
While we are on the subject of the truth, another truth is that whatever is done in darkness will eventually come to light. So, unless we want to intentionally ignore all the warning signs and kill all the messengers, we will eventually come face to face with our reality. Oh, and yes, there will be messengers. Some of your messengers will be people that are simply “messy boots”. They will be very glad to be in your business sharing the bad news like Channel 9 News. But, there may also be messengers that care about you and don’t want to see you placed in a compromised position, so don’t kill the messenger.
While it is important to determine whether you would want to know if your husband is cheating on you, I think the bigger question is, if he is, what are you going to do? There is no quick one size fits all rule of how to handle such a situation. No one can tell you what your next steps should be, the truth is, only you can make that decision when and if that time comes. In most cases, women usually don’t know exactly what they will do until they are placed in that position. I hope you never experience such a thing, but if you don’t, someone you know certainly will. Having some idea of how things may go will be helpful towards your resolve. You literally have to create a scientific equation to prepare yourself. (i.e. If this happens, that I will do this, but if that happens, I will have to do that…) It could go on and on. The best thing to do is to make sure your cash flow is right. What if you know that your girlfriend’s husband is cheating on her? Should you tell her, would you tell her? Perhaps one day more women will talk about these matters and share their honest feelings. I have asked a few of my girlfriends and all but one said they would want to know. In my opinion all of those decisions should be respected. Sometimes it’s best to let people work out their own situation, especially if they share with you they would not want to know.
I personally don’t believe that anyone should make a hasty decision when they are upset. I believe that if it’s possible to save the marriage (meaning both parties are willing to do what is necessary to get back on track) then that should happen. No one can be in a marriage alone, so unfortunately some marriages will come to an end – simply because, it takes two. At the end of the day each woman has to make the hard decisions on what she wants to know and what she will do about it when she finds out. What’s important here is that some thought on the subject is conducted. Divas should know, where they would live and how the bills will be paid. If you have that much figured out, the rest will be easier to deal with.