Tuesday, May 23, 2017

You are too short.  You’re too tall.  Your hair is too curly.  You hair is much too straight.  Is that your natural hair color?  Is that your real hair?  Your nose is too big.  Did you have a nose job?  Is that really your eye color?  Your lips are really big.  You don’t have any lips.  You are really fat.  You are way too thin.  You are really black.  Boy, you are really white.  I have a question, why do people ask these questions?  Are they really stupid?  Do we not recall that curiosity killed the cat?  Okay so that wasn’t a real story but come on…

You have to know me pretty well to ask me any of these questions.  And some of these questions, if you know me pretty well, you know not to ask.  The thing to understand is, if the person wants to tell you, you wouldn’t have to ask.  Unless they make their business yours – oh it’s not.  Surely there are more important things on your, “must know list” than the above.  Let try, “How are you today?” The other thing is that judgmental stuff, too this, or too that – girl bye.  There are just way too many people who think they are the beauty police.  Having seen them, I’m not sure why they are so misguided.  Who decides if you’re too short or too tall?  Whose job is it to determine if you are too black or too white?  Who decides if your lips are too big or way to small – who decides?  Certainly not the person making the statement or anyone like them.  Who gets to decide - you do.  And don’t let anyone perpetrate their hate on you.  If they have self-esteem, issues they need to fix it.  Putting you down cannot be the solution to making people feel better about themselves.  And…then there are the haters, you know – those that buy everything that they (pretenda’) hate about you. 

What is the point of this line of questioning, who really cares and why?  What is the motivation for asking these types of questions? Some may say, well they just want to know?  Well, it’s none of their business unless the other person decide it is.  At the end of the day, it’s all up to you how you handle the probe of life or the “too” statement.  When it comes to matters about you, you are the expert.  Take a look in the mirror and know that you were perfectly made.  You have to live with you every day.  You must know the value of you.  Diva don’t let anyone else paint your picture.  Pick up your paint brush and just know that you are making a one of a kind original.  You don’t have to be or look like anyone but you.  You also don’t have to answer probing questions about yourself or anything else for that matter.  If they don’t like the painting, they can move on and choose another.  Boop!

Just remember the people that matters, none of this stuff matters to them.  And if it matters to them, then they shouldn’t matter to you.  It’s far better to live your life being the best that you can be instead of worrying about what other people think about you.  Spread the love, reduce the hate, especially to yourself.

Tuesday, May 9, 2017

Have you ever had someone say hello to you and you pleasantly responded?  Then you walked away and instinctively looked back, just to find them making a face behind your back?  Yep, the mean girl syndrome in full effect.  What is also in effect is a coward.  Fantasia sang a song and some of the lyrics to the song are, “If you don’t like me, don’t talk to me, go ahead and free yourself”.  If only the “mean girl” would take this advice.  Life is too short to get caught up with people who don’t even know how to behave.

I simply don’t understand two faced cowards.  Have the guts to say what you have to say to the person's face or simply free yourself of their company.  I truly don’t understand what people get out of catching someone else’s eye behind your back and making a negative gesture about you.  Does it make them smarter, taller, cuter, gets them a raise?  What did you say, none of the above – ding, ding, ding.  That is the correct answer, the person who this gets nothing tangible out of it – unless, they have low self-esteem.  Then of course it makes sense that behaving this way, somehow makes them feel better about themselves (bigger).  Unfortunately, this truth takes place only in their minds.  This reminds me of an incident that I witnessed in high school.  In the 11th grade, there was a girl with long absolutely beautiful hair.  She was such a nice and friendly girl. That seemed to be a problem for, “the mean girl”.  So she would pull the girls' hair, knock her school books out of her hand for months.  But one day the girl with the long hair had her hair in a bun, no earrings on but certainly sneakers.  And this day, as soon as  “the mean girl” stepped in her direction she was met with, let’s just say mush hostility.  Although I don’t condone violence, I guess old girl had enough of the nonsense.  It’s amazing to me just how many “mean girls” grow up and never correct their misbehavior.  Too many of them grow up to be “mean women”.  Girl, “get your life”.  There are therapists and psychologists on every corner.  Get the help you need and leave everyone else alone.  I for one being the Diva that I am, will not be making eye contact with the person who behaves poorly behind someone else’s back.  Divas don’t condone inappropriate behavior, we certainly won’t be a part of it.

The truth of the matter is, we don’t have to like everybody and if it pains you to say hello - don’t.  But do grow up.  This isn’t high school.  No one’s afraid of the “mean girl” anymore honey.  And divas, well they see your pain and hope you get the help you need.  But just know, if you try this stunt with a diva, there is a strong chance that she will call you on it.  Yep, be prepared to be confronted.