So many people are struggling with being true to themselves or anyone else for that matter.  What they are doing and what they are saying do not line up.  For example, if you say you are focusing on saving, but you are shopping every day, there is a disparity.  Or you say that you are vegan, but you’re eating big Macs from McDonalds, I don’t get.  Whoever you are and whatever you do, it’s best to own it. 

It simply makes so much more sense to be who you say you are.  I don’t understand the need to live on Fantasy Island.  Can I keep it real divas?  I tend to prefer to deal with people who are real.  People who are honest with themselves and speak the truth about their direction.  I’m not asking for any information, but if you are going to give it to me, I prefer it not be misinformation.

Don’t get me wrong, I am all for trying to do better, but if you are not there yet, it’s better to be honest about it. Matter of fact, why speak on it at all.  If we can’t be honest with ourselves, who can we be honest with.  Life is less confusing when we do what we say and say what we mean.  Let’s keep it real.

If I had a penny for every time I heard someone say there aren’t any good men left, I would be a millionaire.  This isn’t about male bashing, although a few of them could use a bash or two.  There are men that act a whole fool – let’s be real.  I realize they are not alone, it’s not like woman hasn’t done the unthinkable in relationships, some have.  But let’s get back to the men shall we.

There are families that took the time to raise their children well, instilling in them a code of ethics and values.  These mothers and fathers made it clear, the world does not revolve around them.  Then you have the mother we acts like her son is “little baby Jesus” who could do no wrong.  Well, in most cases, this kid will grow up thinking he is a gift to women, a gift they must share.  There are woman who do everything for their sons.  They know their son have at least five girlfriends and brush it off saying “oh their young”, he’ll settle down.  And this diva, is partly to blame for the grown boys you may have met today.  You see, I’m of the opinion that age does not necessarily make you a man.

We teach our sons that their need is a priority and our daughters that their significant other comes first, we too perpetuate the problem.  I don’t have a son, but if I did, he would learn how to cook, clean and take care of himself being a proper partner to his significant other and family.  He would also learn that selfishness is not okay.  Date one girl at a time Fabio.  What you practice is what comes natural to you.  A marriage license is a piece of paper and if a man has been in the habit of juggling a number of female relationships for years, that is what he will do.  The paper does not have magical powers that will stop him.  It’s all about respect and commitment and it’s something that should be practiced from day one.

So the next time you think to say there are no good single guys left, be sure you’re not part of the problem.  Your son will be someone’s boyfriend and then husband one day.  And what you instill in him today will make the difference in the future.  Remember, no matter how much we love our children, wrong is still wrong and right is still right and carmer well, it can be a tough teacher.  Encourage your son’s to put out in the world what they would want to come back to him.  Because in some shape or form it certainly will.  

Have you ever thought about making one relaxing spot in your home?  What about a themed room.  It’s absolutely delicious.  I just completed what I happily named “my beach room”.  It’s perfect.  I love the beach and it’s my relaxing go to spot.   But unfortunately, there’s no going to the beach in the middle of the winter.  So, I took the beach home.  I decorated my beach room with seashells and sand, a collection of rocks and pebbles.  I have the most amazing picture of a turtle on my wall.  A fabulous boat I decorated especially for the occasion.  Everything about the space, including my collection of twigs and sea glass makes me feel so at home, I don’t know why I didn’t think of doing this before.  It’s the most relaxing place in my home and I spend so much time there. 

There is nothing like a diva sanctuary and every diva must have one.  Think about what that may look like for you and begin your “project relaxation” girl.  It could be a corner of a room or an entire room.  Take your time and make it a space worth living in.  Enjoy the journey.

Follow your dreams.  It’s so easy sometimes to put what you really want to do on the back burner.  Either because life happens or the expense of it all.  Just because you may have to pursue a job that pays the bills for now, doesn’t mean you can’t pursue what your heart desires.

You can:

Do some research online regarding the career path or business.

Go to a seminar, take a class or pursue a degree.

Speak to people doing what you want to do.

Buy a book or two on the subject.

Start to dabble a little bit on the side. 

Say for example you would like to start a bed & breakfast, stay overnight and take good notes.  You’ll observe some good things and certainly some not so good things to avoid.  Get information on what it would cost to run a bed & breakfast.  How many rooms would you like to have?  Organize the information you obtain as you pursue your goal.  Before you know it, you will be saving towards your goal and devising a plan to accomplish it. 

Whatever it is that your heart desires, don’t ever let it go.  Whatever makes you happy is worth doing.  I’m not saying quit your job and follow your dreams.  That would be a personal choice.  I wouldn’t suggest quitting your job because I wouldn’t personally do it myself.  Bills must get paid and we have to be responsible.  I am saying though that you can do something on the side that will lead you closer to the goal.

There are no do overs in life so don’t waste a moment.  This is as good a time as any to follow your dreams and make it happen.  Good luck on your life journey…

What is girl power?  Well, I think it’s the amazing ability to get things done.  You know rolling up your sleeves, jumping in there and making it happen.  To some it represents a sense of sisterhood – kinda’ we can do it together.  Either way, it represents the power that women around the world have as they take care of themselves and their families every day.  I would like to challenge women everywhere to take that ability to make things happen and do what you can to help the many families around the world who are suffering as a result of the numerous hurricanes that has been happening lately. 

I believe there were six hurricanes and I understand we have many more to come.  It’s been one behind each other with no time for us to recover.  Too many people have died.  It’s left countless families homeless and destitute.  So plan now to shop less this holiday season and let’s help people who have been devastated by the storms to get what they need to survive.  From Atlanta to Peru, people can use our help.  United Way and the Red Cross are good organizations to contact.  It’s time to use your girl power diva – let’s go.

There is no doubt in my mind that we are living in trying times.  When the bottom fell out of the housing market a few years ago, most people thought it couldn’t get any worse than that, oh but it has.  The economy is tinkering and racism is at an all-time high.  So, when there are economic issues facing the country and then hatred is a staple, it fosters a climate for disaster.  Some are concerned about a civil war that may cause the deaths of many Americans of all nationalities.  A bullet doesn’t discriminate.  Hopefully cool heads will prevail on both sides of this issue.

It is share stupidity to waste even a moment fighting amongst ourselves because of the color of our skin.  There are real problems that need to be addressed in our society and this is the worst case distraction.  Distractions is what takes place when they let the fox in the hen house.  So what’s a diva to do?

Well, for starters Divas must keep living the best life possible.  Time waits for no man.  So, don’t waste your time.  When you wake up each morning, thank God for another day.  Have your best day.  Do your best work.  Live your best life.  Don’t waste not a minute of your time absorbing the chaos caused by others.  Do what you need to do to stay healthy and strong.  Protect your happiness at all cost.  Don’t let anyone rob you of your joy and peace.  But next time, do yourself a favor.  Lock the hen house door and protect it with pit bulls. 

And yeah, if you feel like it, invest in real estate – people have to live somewhere and there will always be money to be made in this sector.  However, we can never afford to believe the hype again.  If it looks too good to be true, believe it is.  Every market has a realistic limit.  Know what it is and stay within it.

One of my graduate school professors asked the question, “Are leaders born or made?   As you could imagine, there was much discussion on the subject.  Some people felt they were made.  A person can be trained to be a leader.  While others felt that it certainly is something you are born with a gift of sorts.  There was a third group that believed, it’s both.  Leaders are born and made to lead effectively.  I happen to agree with the latter.

Leaders, true effective leaders have certain qualities that are gifts.  Their charismatic and focused.  They are driven and can effectively pull a team together to accomplish the required mission.  Leaders are wise and have the ability to make sound decisions in a timely manner.  They know when to coach, when to be part of the team and when to provide directive.  They understand that there is usually more than one way to solve a problem and they are open to examining the possibilities.   A born leader can perfect his or her leadership abilities through training and experience.  Sharpening the tools, I like say.  The point is, you have to own tools to sharpen them.

There are so called leaders who have been trained to lead.   They have the book knowledge but no real ability to apply it.   Someone has leant them the tools, but they don’t have the innate ability to appropriately use them.

Then there are those who are neither born to lead nor trained to do so.  These guys, don’t know what they don’t know because they think they know everything.  It looks easy, so they are prepared to plow through without even as much as a road map.  Just know when there is a mission that needs to be accomplished, ignorance is not bliss.  It has led many companies to bankruptcy.  Everybody has a lane.  Everybody has a purpose.  Stay in your lane and know your purpose.  We can’t all be doctor’s, we definitely can’t all be leaders.  But whatever we are called to do, training will certainly help.  Divas know they will do the world a service if they find their purpose, train and then diligently implement to perfection.  The only thing worse than a leader that can’t lead is a worker who won’t work.