You are too short.  You’re too tall.  Your hair is too curly.  You hair is much too straight.  Is that your natural hair color?  Is that your real hair?  Your nose is too big.  Did you have a nose job?  Is that really your eye color?  Your lips are really big.  You don’t have any lips.  You are really fat.  You are way too thin.  You are really black.  Boy, you are really white.  I have a question, why do people ask these questions?  Are they really stupid?  Do we not recall that curiosity killed the cat?  Okay so that wasn’t a real story but come on…

You have to know me pretty well to ask me any of these questions.  And some of these questions, if you know me pretty well, you know not to ask.  The thing to understand is, if the person wants to tell you, you wouldn’t have to ask.  Unless they make their business yours – oh it’s not.  Surely there are more important things on your, “must know list” than the above.  Let try, “How are you today?” The other thing is that judgmental stuff, too this, or too that – girl bye.  There are just way too many people who think they are the beauty police.  Having seen them, I’m not sure why they are so misguided.  Who decides if you’re too short or too tall?  Whose job is it to determine if you are too black or too white?  Who decides if your lips are too big or way to small – who decides?  Certainly not the person making the statement or anyone like them.  Who gets to decide - you do.  And don’t let anyone perpetrate their hate on you.  If they have self-esteem, issues they need to fix it.  Putting you down cannot be the solution to making people feel better about themselves.  And…then there are the haters, you know – those that buy everything that they (pretenda’) hate about you. 

What is the point of this line of questioning, who really cares and why?  What is the motivation for asking these types of questions? Some may say, well they just want to know?  Well, it’s none of their business unless the other person decide it is.  At the end of the day, it’s all up to you how you handle the probe of life or the “too” statement.  When it comes to matters about you, you are the expert.  Take a look in the mirror and know that you were perfectly made.  You have to live with you every day.  You must know the value of you.  Diva don’t let anyone else paint your picture.  Pick up your paint brush and just know that you are making a one of a kind original.  You don’t have to be or look like anyone but you.  You also don’t have to answer probing questions about yourself or anything else for that matter.  If they don’t like the painting, they can move on and choose another.  Boop!

Just remember the people that matters, none of this stuff matters to them.  And if it matters to them, then they shouldn’t matter to you.  It’s far better to live your life being the best that you can be instead of worrying about what other people think about you.  Spread the love, reduce the hate, especially to yourself.

Have you ever had someone say hello to you and you pleasantly responded?  Then you walked away and instinctively looked back, just to find them making a face behind your back?  Yep, the mean girl syndrome in full effect.  What is also in effect is a coward.  Fantasia sang a song and some of the lyrics to the song are, “If you don’t like me, don’t talk to me, go ahead and free yourself”.  If only the “mean girl” would take this advice.  Life is too short to get caught up with people who don’t even know how to behave.

I simply don’t understand two faced cowards.  Have the guts to say what you have to say to the person's face or simply free yourself of their company.  I truly don’t understand what people get out of catching someone else’s eye behind your back and making a negative gesture about you.  Does it make them smarter, taller, cuter, gets them a raise?  What did you say, none of the above – ding, ding, ding.  That is the correct answer, the person who this gets nothing tangible out of it – unless, they have low self-esteem.  Then of course it makes sense that behaving this way, somehow makes them feel better about themselves (bigger).  Unfortunately, this truth takes place only in their minds.  This reminds me of an incident that I witnessed in high school.  In the 11^th grade, there was a girl with long absolutely beautiful hair.  She was such a nice and friendly girl. That seemed to be a problem for, “the mean girl”.  So she would pull the girls' hair, knock her school books out of her hand for months.  But one day the girl with the long hair had her hair in a bun, no earrings on but certainly sneakers.  And this day, as soon as  “the mean girl” stepped in her direction she was met with, let’s just say mush hostility.  Although I don’t condone violence, I guess old girl had enough of the nonsense.  It’s amazing to me just how many “mean girls” grow up and never correct their misbehavior.  Too many of them grow up to be “mean women”.  Girl, “get your life”.  There are therapists and psychologists on every corner.  Get the help you need and leave everyone else alone.  I for one being the Diva that I am, will not be making eye contact with the person who behaves poorly behind someone else’s back.  Divas don’t condone inappropriate behavior, we certainly won’t be a part of it.

The truth of the matter is, we don’t have to like everybody and if it pains you to say hello - don’t.  But do grow up.  This isn’t high school.  No one’s afraid of the “mean girl” anymore honey.  And divas, well they see your pain and hope you get the help you need.  But just know, if you try this stunt with a diva, there is a strong chance that she will call you on it.  Yep, be prepared to be confronted.

Vacation is calling and I must go.  Where, you ask?  It doesn't really matter where.  When time off rolls around, it will be a wonderful experience based on my vaca needs.  Sometimes it could be an island paradise, sometimes Virginia Beach, other times a local hotel or even at home. 

The only thing that matters when I go on vaca, is that I get what I need and do what I want.  Actually, it’s more like don’t do anything.  I’ve been to Paris and England, the West Indies and a few local spots.  Sometimes the best vaca of all is right in my own bed – go figure.  It’s like…sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t.  Sometimes you want to be a tourist, other times you’re in beach bum mode and then there is relax on 2000.

As you plan your vaca, decide what you need and do that.  If you have to consider the wishes of other family members, then make sure you at least have one day off to do you.  Chillin’ 2000.  Divas need R&R too you know.  Luv the kids, but it’s not just about them…hello, can I get an AMEN.

So if you have been following my posts, you know I wrote an article about the fabu new look of fitbit.  Well, there is more.  So my daughter purchased one and created a few group challenges.  Everyone that she invites to this group has fitbit and can compete against each other to see who has the most steps at the end of the challenge.  You can literally see each group members step total.  This particular one is for a week.  The software comments about the race, much like texting, but you also get to add your own texts as well. 

You can cheer on a buddy or simply talk smack, which is, of course, what I like to do.  I constantly threaten to dethrone the queen (person with the highest score) or threaten to win even if it mean my feet falling off.  All in fun, of course.  The wonderful thing about this is, it forces you to be accountable for the goal you set and if you are a competitive person like I am, you will certainly….get to steppin’

There is no down side.  You’ll make a few new friends, have fun and be encouraged to run or walk you race.  So diva’s if you haven’t joined a group yet, you're missing out.  Join the fun, walk to good health.  

Sometimes work and life, in general, can leave you stressed to the core.  Regardless of how you are generally enjoying yourself, sometimes just the sheer burden of responsibilities can leave you overwhelmed and exhausted - it’s all part of life.  Every once in a while, you have to carve out a little time for yourself and simply relax.  This week was a rough week.  Deadlines in the workplace, a shortage of staff and personal deadlines makes for both a tired body and mind.

It was very necessary to use my secret stress buster.  I pulled out my weapon of mass happiness.  I filled the Jacuzzi with my favorite bubble bath, put on my fav music, and yes brought in the chocolate covered strawberries.  With my bottle of Evian water, I was good to go.  It was awesome.  Every couple of months this is my get away, but this week it was my nightly ritual for 3 days.  Well chocolate covered strawberries was just one night.  You know, a girls got to watch her waistline.  Hey, a diva’s got to do what a diva’s got to do – relax when necessary.  Deadlines will be met and I will certainly get through my crazy busy week, but I knew it would be at a cost.  So, I made sure, I paid myself first each day by relaxing the night before.

As I always say, preparation is everything.  If we don’t take care of ourselves – who will.   Be your own best friend and not your own worst enemy – always plan to take great care of you diva.

What would you like to know more about?  Have you ever thought about taking a class simply to get more knowledge in the area of your interest?  Classes that help you improve the way you conduct your personal business, should not be overlooked.  So if you need to broaden your knowledge base on a particular subject, then diva get to it.  Most colleges/universities have adult classes you can take fairly inexpensively.  There are quite a few classes you can even take online.  From photography to computer literacy, there are a variety of classes - enough for everyone.

A great class to take is financial management.  We all have some knowledge in managing our personal finances, but if you have holes in your knowledge, now is the time.  Understanding where your paycheck goes each week is important to your future financial success.  Learning how to create systems to help you organize and analyze your financial data, is the only way to go. It's all about making good decisions to help improve your ability to save for your future. But of course, there are so many other classes you can take.  You would be surprised how many people use windows and don’t know all of its features.  Make your life easier – take a class.  Remember, knowledge is power girl.

The art of compromise.   There are similarities to looking for that perfect house and your hubby to be.  Every diva have a ginormous wish list.  Of course every girl would want the house or the man of her dreams.  Four bedrooms (1 guest room, and 1 office, 1 walk in closet absolutely diva fabulous and yes, one bedroom for the bride and groom).  The hubby to be, oh you would like him to be handsome, educated, have a good job and of course eyes only for you.  But at the end of the day, every diva has to choose the house that has most of the things on her wish list or at least some of the items that were high on “the must have” section. 

There are women who feel that you shouldn’t have to settle for the not so perfect house, or not so perfect spouse.  I agree to an extent.  The million dollar home is out of my budget and Denzel Washington is already married.  What’s a girl to do?  Every major decision we make will have an effect on our life, so we must make them carefully and prayerfully.  This is not a “one size fits all” deal – not by any means.  But it is and will always be a matter of compromise.  No house or person is perfect.  Inspections and conversations are necessary.  We have to do our due diligence.  It starts with knowing ourselves and knowing what we don’t want, just as much as what we do.  What are the deal breakers?  Three bedroom may be just right for one person, while someone needs 4 bedrooms and that’s before the children come along.  There are lots of questions to ask and you need to get answers so you could make an informed decision.  Some of those answers have to come from you.

At the end of the day, we have to come to a decision – we have to make the best choice given numerous factors in our lives.  But when it is all said and done, we have to make that house a happy home and that relationship a strong marriage partnership.  So, unfortunately diva’s this time I only have questions, not answers.  But answering your questions truthfully and honestly is the best way for you to get closer to your dream home or hubby.  Understand what will make you happy and then… go for that.  But just know, comprise is always necessary.  It’s a natural part of life.